


Wraith ignited

by CalandraisQuiraj



Series: Obscurities of Oblivion [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkwardness, Canon-Typical Violence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dramatic, F/M, Fighting, First Order, Force Sensitivity (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Original Character(s), Funny, Lightsabers (Star Wars), Minor Violence, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, Resistance, Sarcasm, Sassy, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow burn at its slowest, The Force, Wrenches, please do not re-upload to other sites, technical stuff, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:08:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29135319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalandraisQuiraj/pseuds/CalandraisQuiraj
Summary: Bad choices happen. Ignoring weird warning voices also. When Tavion Asto, a First Order mechanic, ignores her habits for the first time ever a bunch of unforeseen events happen - much to her chagrin as she draws the commander's attention to her. And that's when the real shit begins, turning her life upside down.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Obscurities of Oblivion [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138091
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	1. Habits & Blasterds

**Author's Note:**

> I still don't know if this is a good idea, uploading that brain-fart of mine, but hey, here we go. Please feel free to comment and to review, I appreciate it. I am very nervous as this is the first time ever I'm publishing a work of mine, so please be kind.  
> As mentioned I will update tags, relationships and characters.  
> This is part 1 of a 4 part series. It's a very long way to go, but I would be happy if you'd accompany me on this journey. :D
> 
> And now without further ado weird things are about to happen.  
> Enjoy. :)

Somewhere in the distant she heard a rang. First it was a quiet sound. As if heard through layers of cotton wool.

Then somehow it became louder and Tavion grabbed her pillow to pull it over her head to shield herself from the more and more disturbing noise. Tightly she squeezed the puffy object around her ears until she was out of breath. The sound now was shrill and she was convinced that her ears soon would begin to bleed. With a roar she threw the pillow in direction of whatever it was disrupting her oh so sweet slumber and accomplished to tear down the object in question. But still it wasn’t willing to shut up.

Taking a deep breath, she crawled out of bed halfway and seized the corner of the pillowcase. Again, a loud noisy sound filled the room and she grunted in disapproval.

She crawled further until only her lower body was covered under the welcoming warmth of her blanket.

“Will you shut the fuck up?”, she hissed through gritted teeth and reached for the alarm clock. After tapping blindly around she found the hidden switch and turned it off.

When would she finally listen to Celdam Gis and use her Holopad to set the alarm for the morning? With a deep sigh she tossed the blanket aside and moved her body back to bed with a heartfelt yawn.

0500.

As if that wasn’t enough the window shades began to croon barely audible and began to raise slowly uncovering the view to a thousand stars blinking shyly upon the black velvety of space and feebly illuminated the white walls of her quarters and sparse argent furniture. Somehow their light chased the prevailing drabness inside, providing a finite uniqueness as it wasn’t allowed for members of the First Order to keep personal stuff. As is she had something like that. _Pfft._

After hanging around in bed for another five minutes she slipped out of its cosiness, collected clean clothes from the wardrobe set into the wall and headed towards the refresher. The floor was cold and she hurried. Normally that wasn’t an issue but straight out of bed didn’t live in harmony with coldness.

The night had been too short, she felt a faint heaviness stuck to her bones. The previous day had been a long one. Too many idiots with a lack of knowledge had hang around, so Tavion had to pull herself together. Hopefully this day everything would be different.

As every morning, she just turned on the cold water and cursed like an out of control protocol droid. But beside the stinging of the ice-cold sensation upon her skin she also felt how she became more and more awake. Thanks to the density of the room, she hit her elbow somewhere and a numb feeling spread into her underarm. _Lovely._ Annoyed she rubbed the spot. At its worst this was the first hint of a day that was about to suck. Hard.

Afterwards she dressed herself in simple black underwear as well as a set of a lightweight cotton sweatshirt and leggings.

Suddenly a buzz on her door reached her ears.

_Ugh …_

She _hated_ being disturbed in the morning. The alarm had been enough already to stress Tavion out. Nonetheless she walked to the door and pushed a small button to activate the communicator.

“Yes?” She asked with a neutral tone.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Celdam.

_Ugh._

“What is it?” _Stay calm, maybe it is something important._ How this being named Celdam Gis made it into the First Order with his steadily positive attitude was a mystery to her. Quite possible that moron warbled with the alarm in unison every morning, before telling himself what a marvellous creature he was.

“Well, since I thought-” _Really?_ “that you’d chicken around to go to the canteen I’ll just stop by.”

Was he serious? Frowning she stared at the door.

“Aha.”

“Tavion, I know you are kind of a loner, but everybody needs some company from time to time.” _Ugh._

“But I see you at work.” She tried to make excuses as she heard the snort of Celdam, who sounded noticeably amused. Again, Tavion grimaced at the door.

“Come on, open the door, difficutie.” Damn him. With a very pissed face, she activated the panel for opening and the door whooshed open. His smile was like a sun. Bright, warm and rare at times. Celdam was someone who came closest to her understanding of the term _friend_. Tavion hated to admit it, but even she knew that underneath her hard shell there was a soft core. Only Celdam knew and maybe also Jenin, her boss. That was enough.

“Brought some of the Chandrilian buns.”

“I hate you anyway.” With a welcoming gesture contrary to her tone of voice, she stepped aside to let the taller man in.

“I know. I would be worried if not.” He gave her a broad smile. _Urgh._ If this continued, she would develop an aversion to light.

Together they prepared a small breakfast and not too long after they sat on the tiny dining table which was actually only intended for one person. Surely there was a certain basic idea behind. Working together yes. Socializing outside of work, no. So, they had probably not bank with someone like Celdam, that never setting sun.

“Already checked your messages?”

Tavion stared at him blankly while munching before gulp down her bite noisily. “Nope, I was busy with killing my alarm and freezing off my butt under the shower. But normally I would have done so while eating. In solitude.”

Celdam supressed a laughter by grinning into his cup. After he had calmed down again, he set it aside and watched her for a while, as if he was thinking.

“Does it hurt?” She asked, not able to hide her amusement anymore. Ignoring her comment, he sat up straight, not letting go of her gaze.

“Maybe I should let you know about your first task. Otherwise, I would be worried for the sake of your holopad.”

“Let me take a guess. Hastrac managed to have their shield generator destroyed again.” Tavion meant it as a joke, but instead of bursting into laughter, Celdams gaze drifted away and he made a face, with tapping the top of his nose to tell her she was right.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Wouldn’t dare to. Not in the morning, difficutie.”

“That blasted-” The other words she raged out, could no longer be understood as Tavion stifled them by stuffing the rest of the bun into her mouth. With two long strides she hurried over to the dresser and yanked out her overall as black like the rest of her clothing, the perfect visualization of her current mood by the way. Visibly pissed she zipped it shut and with the rest of her roll still jammed between her teeth, tied back her hair into a bun. Single strands managed to escape the embrace of it, but Tavion didn’t care. Afterwards she reached for her belt, already heading for the door.

“Fe laft bum if mime!” Tavion barked in Celdam’s direction, then she left her quarters. With energetic strides she rushed through the hallways and finished her breakfast meanwhile, imagining with each bite to snap off Hastrac’s head.

More or less five minutes later she arrived at the hangar, its big doors slid aside as she came near. Instead of walking straight to the opposite end where tools and necessary supplies were stowed in lockers and wall hangers, she headed for the TIE-fighter in question, which had already been prepared for the upcoming repair.

Since Tavion always switched into her work mode as soon as she left her quarters, she just stared in cold professionality at what she saw in front of her.

Inwardly, however, she lost composure. Pulled her hair. And imagined dragging Hastrac to the launch pad and throw them into the vastness of space. Then with what could’ve called stiff elegance she turned around and walked to the lockers to equip her belt and prepare for the task ahead. Of course, she was far too early. Today even more than usual. The others from her team wouldn’t show up before 0700.

Tavion went back to the spacecraft for an initial analysis to run a log program. Soon the monitor was blinking wildly with no doubt left that again a complete shithead had laid hand on that vehicle. _Thank you very much, without you I would be without a job._ Would anybody had told her before what’d come up to her, she would’ve escaped screaming. But here she was. Still.

_Friggin’ kriff._

That would take until noon. Fortunately for her, Tavion’s maintenance list wasn’t as long as usual. If there was one thing she hated, it was not able to fulfil her day’s chores.

Twice she checked everything, then returned to the lockers, grabbed a mobile workbench and stuffed it with spare items.

With a bit of bad luck, she would’ve recruited a droid to help her out. _Nasty little things._

Suddenly Tavion heard somebody clearing restrainedly their throat. Tavion looked up – and tried no to show her sudden tension. In front of her, and of course in uniform, stood Hastrac Val. _Well, that’s what I call brave. Partied hard, didn’t we?_

Tavion stared blankly at the red stripes on their helmet, identifying them as a member of the Special Forces.

“Good morning, Asto” Said the helmet with an unidentifiable voice. Sometimes Tavion wasn’t sure if there was a human underneath at all. On the other hand, if it wasn’t a droid, she didn’t understand at all how to keep that dude anywhere near the TIE. Just didn’t make any sense.

She was silent.

“And? Already started an analysis?”

In response, Tavion raised the Holopad, which flashed blue and red. Blue was good, red less so. Even the dumbest would have understood, what was broken and what wasn’t. However, she was smart enough to know her persistent silence certainly wouldn’t stop Hastrac from asking their stupid questions.

“Can you do that? Repair the damage, I mean.”

_A certain someone has a death wish, obviously …_

In her mind Tavion watched herself as she hit Hastrac’s head with the pad. Instead of saying anything, she continued to stare wordlessly at them.

The only indication of her state of mind was a slight wrinkle on top of her nose.

“Greetings, Hastrac.”

Tavion had been distracted that much she hadn’t seen Celdam coming. Instantly she wanted to yell at somebody. Or at least something. Dammit, she had work to do!

“Have caused a lot of hustle and bustle again, haven’t you?”

“Good morning, Caldem.” _Definitely a droid._ On the other hand – most droids are intelligent enough to read body language. Even the slightest hint wouldn’t escape them.

The not-so-droid turned a little into the direction of the TIE. “Oh yeah, I know. Got a little bit into trouble, ‘ya know? Few rebels attacked and well, we stumbled a bit into trouble. Loru was caught, but we managed to get him. And after I accidentally shot Dulgas’ sun reflector durin’ an evasive manoeuvre, he returned the favour a short time later.”

A stifled snort could be heard from Celdam, who had to put all his efforts to not burst into laughter. Hastrac, however, didn’t noticed or ignored it.

“The enemy then flew through a very narrow passage, us behind. Almost tore off my left wing. Wonder I made it back at all.”

Why exactly did this moron dare to sound that happy? It was the _fourth time_ this month, she had to repair _their_ TIE.

All right, she was surrounded by dickheads. Every mechanic would’ve done a better job than these screwballed, preposterous-

“Whatever, thanks to Tavion, I can be sure the repairs are in right hands.”

Her lower left eyelid twitched. Without taking her eyes off Hastrac, she picked up the M56 wrench lying on the mobile workbench and slowly pulled it off the surface. This created a metallic scraping loud enough to cause discomfort.

Hastrac inclined their head, somewhat confused, while watching the large wrench in Tavion’s hand.

“If I were you, I would run now.” Celdam had leaned closer to the pilot and put on the kind of face one would expect from someone who was giving a good advice. Hastrac on their behalf seemed to have at least a drop of brain floating around inside their skull, because they just muttered a gritted “See ya!” and scrammed.

With a noisy bang, Tavion put the tool back on the bench and hurried to finally get to work.

“Unbelievable that moron had survived all those incidents …” Tavion hissed while moving around Caldem to assemble the mobile workbench. And heard him chuckle barely.

“Ignore that idiot. There’s a reason why you are a mechanic and no pilot.”

“If this is an allusion to my intelligence then thanks. And ditto.”

“A kudo from the _Finalizer’s_ most serious mechanic? Made my day!”

Tavion’s gaze shifted back to the M56 and Caldem laughed, when he saw that, putting her off.

“I leave you to your work. Want to stay alive, you know? I see you later, Tavion.”

“Later.”

In silence she watched Caldem moving through the hanger until he vanished behind other shuttles and wheeled the working bench over.

Sometimes she hated it here. For three years she had been working in the main hangar, surrounded by enough dumbasses to fill a whole planet. But she liked it. Then all of a sudden, she had been commanded to the port hangar by Chief Mechanic Jenin Trem’ra. Word of her skills had reached the upper floors and she had been re-recruited. At first, she’d hoped to meet more capable pilots there. After all, the Special Forces TIEs anchored there, so she had expected a more lenient approach.

Tavion had learned at least one lesson from her transfer – how wrong one could be. Thanks to the likes of Hastrac, incompetence had been given a name.

Tavion was pretty sure it would’ve caused a nice sound if she’d clobbered Hastrac with that wrench.

“Stay calm. Someday they won’t return.” Tavion drew her attention back to her task. It surely was cruel to think that way and it wasn’t as if she’d wished this particular thought might come true.

For lunch she joined her comrades in the overcrowded cantina, listening to their stories of what they’d been doing before joining the First Order. It was chitty-chat after all, but Tavion didn’t fell into, therefore enjoyed them nonetheless.

Time passed by and before she knew it, her shift was over. Before Tavion retired to her quarters, she decided to make a detour to the training complex that belonged to the upper command level.

Even for those who didn’t belong to combat units, there was sparring and shooting training, albeit in an attenuated version.

It wasn’t particular crowded at this hour. Most of people had dinner or had exercised before their shift started. At least three times a week Tavion tried to train for an hour each. Considering her time on board she was pretty sure to at least not fail completely, should it ever matter.

As she went down on the turbolift, she ignored the deep molten grooves cut into its durasteel elements, as always. Yet she noticed them marginally. This damage had been there for a while, and its number had increased.

At some point somebody would take care of the destruction, not later than the elevator was about to run out of function. The perpetrator behind would strike again soon anyway.

_That ridiculous tin bucket._

If she were the mechanic in charge, she would’ve quit work long ago.

Maybe they should try Beskar. He could try for a long time to leave any scratches on the surface. However, Tavion was certain the vast amounts of Beskar needed to make the spaceship somewhat _childproof_ wouldn’t be able to find.

In addition, who knew what, or rather _who,_ would become the focus of attention of _Mr. I got a lightsabre and I hit you with it._

 _Nah,_ _I like my head where it is. Stuck on my neck, thank you very much._

She returned to her quarters after target practice (Ninety percent hit the mark! …), being set to the mat (Now also back pain) and another round of scaring Hastrac to death (Do they sleep in that ridiculous getup?). All she wanted was to have some rest, dinner while reading the book on Hyperspace, and sleep. Maybe a hot shower. Her back was just killing her.

The door hissed open and a soft light gradually filled the small room. Her gaze fell onto the small dining table. Celdam had actually cleaned up after her hasty departure. Upon a plate set under a transparent cover laid the last Chandrilian bun.

For the first time on this day, Tavion cracked a smile.


	2. A Buzz in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't always go according to plan.

Something tickled Tavion. It wasn't physical. Rather something that was causing concern in her subconscious. A hum that echoed through her sleep. Persistently ignoring the troublemaker, she rolled over on her other side, yawning, and pulled the covers over her head.

Her internal clock assured her that it was nowhere near time to get up.

But a short time later there was that buzzing again that tickled her nerves. She drew an arm sluggishly towards her to prop herself on one elbow and blinked into darkness. She just saw her holopad go dark again and a small light, which flashed excitedly in a strong red, signaled someone had tried to reach her. That literally explained the buzz.

With a clumsy and lumbering movement, she pulled the device towards her on the mattress and unlocked it with her fingerprint. The next moment she narrowed her eyes.

"Dammit …”

As always, she had failed to activate the darkened night mode. As a _thank you_ for this, bright lights danced around before her eyes, making it difficult for her to see who had tried to contact her. When her eyes got used to the darkness again, she recognized Jenin’s name on the list of missed calls.

If, however, Jenin called her in person in the middle of the night ... she hurried to call the chief mechanic back and was about to start the connection when the buzzer rang on her door.

Alarmed, she startled before she jumped out of bed and on the way to the door grabbed a too big short-sleeved shirt to hastily pull it over her head.

At the entrance she operated the console next to it and with a soft hiss the narrow door panels pushed aside. When she saw who was standing in front of her door, for a few moments she could not avoid staring at her visitors in amazement.

"Good evening, Ma’am," she said to Jenin, while her eyes fixed on a person dressed all in black as well as chief engineer Bain. The former was clearly one of the Knights of Ren. Tavion thought to recognize Vicrul from his robes, but she wasn’t sure. What the hell did one of the knights want at her door?

"Asto, I'm very sorry to bother you at this time, but there is an urgent emergency." Jenin explained to her with the professional distance of a superior.

"Chief mechanic Jenin told me about your extraordinary abilities.” Bain took up the word, his hands behind his back.

"You dealt with the technology of modified TIE whispers, is that correct?"

Tavion struggled to get what he was saying, which was less due to her inability to understand the high-pitched palaver of that twit. It was more to the fact she had been roused from her sleep and was still half sunk in the land of dreams. Nevertheless, she managed to straighten her back and gazed directly at the chief engineer.

"Yes, sir," she confirmed, trying to ignore the lack of pants. One could only hope that neither man was a gossip.

“The Night Buzzard returned from a mission a quarter of an hour ago. Unfortunately, the commander's TIE fighter was damaged in the course of this mission. Since this is a unique and novel custom type, my engineers are not yet familiar with its structure and composition.”, Tavion thought she heard Bain grind his teeth at these words. “I asked Jenin for advice, who’d told me you might be able to help. "

If there was one thing Tavion hated, it was the language that should make you think you had a choice. _No thanks, but nice that you asked. I'm going back to sleep now. Good luck finding another sucker._

She bit her tongue to keep whatever she wanted to say from leaving her mouth.

"Give me five minutes and I'll be in the hangar." She replied instead suppressing a yawn.

"How about one minute and you come with us?" The polite smile that Tavion had put on after she’d recovered from her initial shock froze on her face. She'd heard that Bain was an arrogant asshole.

Instead she nodded and apologized before sliding the door shut again and pulling off her shirt. Her fingers reached for the overalls from the previous day. She looked around hurriedly, but could not find any fresh underwear. All of her leggings and T-shirts, which she usually wore underneath, had not yet been brought back.

"Dammit!" She cursed quietly to make sure not to be heard outside and instead stepped into overalls wearing only underwear. Not that the material was uncomfortable, but she felt better with warm clothes underneath.

Since she only had a few seconds left, this time she tied her hair back a lot more messily than usual, so a few strands were hanging in the front of her face. Couldn't change it now either. With the holopad in hand, she hurried back to the door where the dissimilar trio was still waiting for her.

“For the second. I'm impressed. ", Bain said, overly polite, and Tavion inwardly hit him with her holopad to trash the disgusting grin off his face. She and Jenin walked behind the chief engineer and Vicrul while the former explained the circumstances.

While Bain was giving a monologue, Tavion glanced at her supervisor, who put on an apologetic expression, which made her smile briefly. However, this did not dump the lump inside her throat. It was these unpredictable events that she hated and that tore her out of her daily routine.

Presumably, this would postpone her upcoming shift to the evening and upset her entire bio-rhythm. Inwardly, she pulled her hair and cursed the commander for it.

Arriving at the completely empty hangar, she immediately noticed the fire service droids scurrying around said TIE whisper and putting out some small fires that must’ve broken out after the shuttle had immersed back into the artificial atmosphere of the _Finalizer_. Here and there sparks from innumerable short circuits sprayed into the air and something rattled unnaturally loud.

Tavion couldn't keep her facial expressions from derailing. She had seen this specimen several times and would have loved to examine it and inspect it in detail. To see it in such a desperate state broke her mechanic's heart.

What she did not understand, however, was why they were waking her up in the middle of the night to make repairs. As if Jenin had read her mind, she demanded clarification at that very moment about the reasons that animated the Commander. It would’ve been easier to wait until morning to carry out the inspection with the entire team.

"Chief Mechanic Jenin," suddenly came a clearly modified voice from behind them, which abruptly straightened the hair on the neck of Tavion. Friggin’ sh-

"Sir," Jenin replied without blinking, and turned to the Commander. Tavion did the same, albeit more rigidly, like a rusty lever in need of maintenance.

Commander Ren was close enough she could make out the many signs of usage that tore the mask’s surface. The rest of the helmet disappeared under a hooded scarf, no less black than the rest of its appearance.

"Is that the mechanic?" For a brief, gruesome moment, the mask turned in her direction. Tavion's nerves were strained to tear apart. _Ugh._

"That's correct, sir," Jenin confirmed.

“The shuttle has to be ready for action again by 0800.”

 _Excuse me._ _What?!_

Tavion's left eyebrow lifted briefly, but luckily Ren had already turned back to Jenin.

"With all due respect, Sir, maybe we should take care of the analysis of the existing damage first."

“I'm sure your mechanic can do it if she's only half as good as you say. Vicrul will monitor the process and get you what you need. Do not disappoint me, Jenin."

With these words the commander walked away, followed closely by Bain, who threw a mocking look over his right shoulder before the hangar door closed behind him. Tavion bet Hux and Bain were best friends. Presumably they shared the pomade too.

With them gone Jenin turned towards her, the expression in her face inscrutable but Tavion was convinced to perceive indignation dwelling underneath the surface. “Well, that’s a pretty mess. I will assist you, Asto. Get to work.”

Tavion bit her tongue so as not to make some thoughtless remark, as much as she might have wanted to. But the sight of the bucket-face called Vicrul stopped her from that thought.

Before equipping her belt, she first did an extensive analysis like she always did. This time however there was a bitter taste to it. The commander’s personal shuttle of all things. Her attention shifted back to the electronical device, scanning and compressed analysis data popping up. When she was done, the indicator on her datapad blinked a screeching red. She massaged her nasal root briefly with her thumb and forefinger to dispel the pain that was on the horizon. It would have been easier to say which components were _not_ damaged.

Grumbling quietly, she stomped over to the lockers, where she tore open her compartment and gradually stowed all the utensils on her belt or in the overalls pockets.

Tavion never had something to do with the Commander personally in all those years she worked for the First Order, only she had come into service several years before he did. At the same time when he had become a part of the organization Tavion herself had swapped to the command’s hangar services. Nothing but a coincidence. Nonetheless she had thought about how that guy had made it immediately to the High Command’s ranks without working his way up from nothing. Wasn’t her cup of tea after all.

From time to time she had seen him, surrounded by those creepy soldiers, had heard of his tantrums, had seen their impact and had heard a lot of gossip of course. The maybe most common was what exactly that guy hid underneath his mask. Chitty-chat. As long as he kept his distance she was fine with it and she would do the same.

Well, at least she had hoped so.

Her gaze fell back onto the spacecraft, herself unable to hold back a grunted sigh as she started to walk over, her steps echoing off the metal floor and got lost in the width of the hangar. Why on earth was nobody else around? Even at nighttime there was always somebody around, always something to fix. But despite Jenin and bucket-face she was alone.

_How am I supposed to fix this pile of damage in less than six hours? Pretty sure he’ll kill me if I don’t do it._

_That thumb sucker probably never had to lift a finger to fix anything in his damn life. Break it, oh yes, of course, right away. Repair it? Nah, let others do that, because I'm the Commander. Asshole._

The solar collectors were borked in places. However, these modules could get replaced quite easily. Trickier were the bent bracket and hatch access, along with the damaged cannon housing. The cockpit display was faulty and the subspace communication antenna no longer available. The list was still endless.

That thing was junk. If someone had a heart one would throw it into a stationary compactor and invent something that was working out of it. Though if Tavion communicated the matter that way, she could shoot herself in the face with a blaster.

 _Life sucks_. She thought bitterly.

With all the spare parts she needed rushed down, she went to Vicrul, who was leaning casually against the outer shell of the Night Buzzard, and wordlessly handed over the holopad. To her surprise he took it. The best option she had expected would have been the pad thrown against her head. _Wonders will never cease, I guess._

He took a quick look at her notes and then pushed himself off the metal wall before disappearing from the hangar. Blinking she stared to the spot he’d vanished behind the doors

_What an exuberant conversation partner._

"Is everything okay, Asto?" She shrugged.

Jenin.

Tavion hesitated to answer. She would’ve liked to speak frankly, but as friendly as the chief mechanic was, she didn't trust her one hundred percent either. Tavion never did. She had learned that lesson first from the First Order itself, luckily not on her own.

Tavion was naturally endowed with a certain distrust, which always allowed her a healthy distance from everything and everyone. The only thing she was totally devoted to was her job. Analyze, recognize, identify weak points and repair them. She didn't need anything else.

“Yes, I was just a little taken by surprise. That's all. I can manage it.”

_Somehow._

Tavion had long known that she would’ve to improvise. There were no adequate replacements for some elements, but at least she knew how to get the Whisper up and running again, at least until it had been properly and thoroughly serviced - without the aircraft falling apart under its owner’s butt in the middle of hyperspace. The idea, however, caused a certain satisfaction within her, as Tavion had to admit.

“I'm sorry that I put you in this situation. Unfortunately, it was inevitable. You are my best mechanic."

At that Tavion simply nodded. She knew that and felt both flattered and exploited. Everything also had its dark side. Perhaps she should be grateful that she’d managed to swim under the Commander's radar for so many years. And when this was over, she would hurry to go back into hiding again.

A short time later, Vicrul returned with three men from the spare parts department, who brought the necessary items with them.

Together with Jenin, she then set about installing it properly. To do this, they needed one of the crane modules to lift the sun reflectors and move them into position. The hatch was already a little trickier. It took her some time to get the bent parts back into their old position, but she succeeded. The seal then fitted again like a glove.

To be able to fix what was still damaged she slid into the cockpit and Jenin handed her the spare parts inside.

"What was that idiot doing here ?!" Tavion muttered to herself while she dismantled the demolished flight controller and replaced it with another one that came from an SF-TIE fighter.

Half an hour before she should’ve been finished, she examined her work. There was no time for subtleties. Only one thing was left to do.

She looked over to Vicrul, who was standing completely motionless by the Night Buzzard. She stretched briefly and some bones slipped back into their proper place. Then she started moving.

When she stood before him, she cocked her chin. Why were they all that damn tall? She wasn’t exactly short either. Whatever, there was a task to fulfil.

"I have to do a test flight," she said curtly, pushing her nervousness aside as far as possible. Tavion didn't believe that Ren wanted to find out in person whether her experiment was actually airworthy. She didn't know that herself, even if she was rather sure.

An eerie mask stared at her for quite a while. Vicrul seemed to be weighing whether she could be trusted or not. The tension inside of her slowly became harder to control and Tavion clenched her jaws. She was tired and angry and nervous. Not a particularly pleasant mix. As she was about to flick with her fingers in front of Vicrul's face because she thought he’d fallen asleep, he nodded once briefly. With another sigh she mirrored his motion, to then subsequently crossing the open space of her working place once more and tossed her work belt into her compartment as soon as she arrived there.

Afterwards she removed her vacuum suit and the vacuum-sealed helmet from the upper, larger locker. The Whisper actually had its own ventilation system, unlike the common TIE’s, but she wanted to play it safe. In the adjoining changing room, she hurriedly got out of her overalls and slipped into the other suit as well as the vest with the life support modules, activating the atmosphere line and commlink. As she knew Jenin, her supervisor had already communicated with the control bridge to get approval for the start.

She hated that suit. That was inconvenient. She had known that she would regret not wearing long clothes… Cursing inwardly, she returned, noticing Jenin who was already walking directly towards her.

“The navigation bridge has given the go-ahead. You can start, whenever you’re ready.” Her voice was lowered as if making sure not be heard by anybody who could listen to them. A little bit confused Tavion nodded in agreement. Through the visor Jenin was coloured in blackish blue contrasted with red outlines like everything that was around her. Different data popped up to both sides, parameters shifted restlessly whenever Tavion moved her head. Out there it would become more pleasant. A soft crackle sneaked into her ears.

“MT-1432, can you hear me?” The ship's communication didn’t hesitate too long it seems. 

“Loud and clear, Sir.” While answering Tavion tightened the clasps of the patted gloves around her wrist, already walking in direction of the flight vehicle. Still no track of somebody else, except for Vicrul that was, who had drawn closer.

“Well. As I am sure you have already been informed, you have cleared for take-off.” "Thank you, Sir." During the short but brief conversation she had bridged the gap between herself and the TIE. There was a fleeting rush in communication before she heard Jenin's voice again.

“Asto, I'm connected to you now. I'll keep an eye on the checklist. Tell me what works and what doesn't. Stay close to the _Finalizer_ in order we can intervene should something go wrong. Do you understand me?”

Tavion could clearly hear the worrying undertone in her voice. She swallowed quietly.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Then in you go!”

Tavion climbed the steep stairs of the small ramp from which she had previously slid into the interior of the Whisper. The hatch closed above her head and a low hiss signaled that the seal seemed to be working. Quickly she shot a look at the life support display, which indicated that all levels were normal.

_So far, so good._

With mixed feelings, Tavion finally put her gloved hands around the control module, which she operated once while idling. These also ran flawlessly, not as smoothly as they should however, but she would take care of that later if necessary. Now it was important to find out if the main damages had been remedied.

Then she flipped the switches for the drive and the familiar buzzing and hum of the engine could be heard, albeit much quieter than those of common TIEs, otherwise its name wouldn’t have made any sense.

She lifted the little bird until it floated in the middle between ceiling and the floor, before tilting the steering carefully, heading for the exit of the hangar. Something jerked briefly, and she again checked the display of the on-board computer, which, anyway, did not report any system errors.

Her heart was beating uncomfortably hard against her chest. As high as her confidence in her own abilities might be, nothing guaranteed that she, too, would not miss something important. And she could imagine a more comfortable death than being shredded into a thousand pieces due to a fuel leak in the middle of space. After all, she was sitting on a tank of high-pressure radioactive gas.

_Is this really such a good idea? Crappy crap._

Instead of hesitating any longer, she pushed the acceleration lever further forward and broke through the bluish barrier that marked the end of the artificial atmosphere of the _Finalizer_. No matter how often she did test flights, she never got tired of feasting on the sight of the vastness. A pervasive sense of freedom overcame her that calmed Tavion’s heartbeat and relaxed her nerves.

She reveled in the luxury of indulging in this state for a few more minutes before she began giving Jenin the check-ups.

Tavion even dared to take a short jump into hyperspace, although her experience with this technology was not quite as sophisticated as she would have liked.

However, she stayed within range of the ship's communications to convey to Jenin that the hyperdrive was also running properly.

Performing a U-turn Tavion manually flew back to where the Star Destroyer was located by orienting on the showed coordinates.

Finally, the last remnant of her inner tension fell away, peeling off from her like a second skin that had been held too tightly around her. As she approached the Star Destroyer, she released her still clenched and slightly shaky fingers from the control levers and stretched.

"Luckily," she said softly in a satisfied voice and let her uplifted arms fall back abruptly. And of course, something _had_ to go wrong shortly after her moment of triumph - as always. When she dropped her arms as if they were made of lead, she struck the steering column with her right elbow - and somehow managed to get a shot off the laser cannon. Tavion froze instantly and watched the red laser beam as it headed straight for the _Finalizer_ and hit the armored outer shell. It was like flicking a pebble against a Beskar armor.

Less than a second after the impact, the line crackled and she heard the lieutenant speaking who had previously informed her about her clearance to take off.

"MT-1432, what's going on out there?" She didn’t miss the strict undertone in his slightly distorted voice.

_Bloody hell._

"Laser cannons also flawless," she replied monotonously, while inside she had grabbed herself by the shoulders and shook vigorously. What had the flight trainer in charge kept saying? Stay focused until after landing. Do not jump to conclusions as they could lead to mistakes. _For fuck’s sake ..._

"Request for landing clearance."

"Granted."

The tension was back. Tavion stared straight ahead and headed for the port hangar entrance. She managed a smoothed landing, but unfortunately her legs felt like they were made of butter. She hastily detached the hoses from the life support modules and pressed the buttons hidden on the underside of the helmet, and a faint hiss was audible as the seal peeled off before she tossed it off her head. A few strands of hair were stuck to her forehead, which she wiped back.

With a soft chuckle she pulled the lever that opened the access hatch above her. Relieved she switched off the drive, tucked the helmet under her arm and in the following maneuvered herself out of the spacecraft. Somebody should clap their hands. Nothing got broken and she was still alive. _Hurray!_

Tavion was about to climb the small ramp when she heard Ren's distorted voice and winced. That little movement was enough to throw her off balance. She wanted to grab the edge of the hatch, but she would have needed both hands. Instead, the helmet slipped out of her grip and she herself with a loud _Shiiiit!_ over the front window.

_Just why?_

Something slowed her down from the expected hard impact on the ground.

A muffled _Uff_ escaped Tavion and she stared for a couple of moments in shock at the floor, which was only a few centimeters away from the tip of her nose. _Did not see that coming._

Two strong arms held her tightly and abruptly yanked her back onto her legs.

"Everything is fine, nothing happened.", She called immediately, as soon as she had taken an upright position again. A little confused, she stared at Vicrul's mask, which hovered close to her face. At the same time, the tentacle-like embrace broke with which he had stopped her fall.

Wobbly Tavion took a few steps aside to get away from creepy bucket-face and wondered how he had got there so fast to catch her ... and why he had even done that. Once again, she realized why she would rather have a wall of durasteel three meters thick between herself and these ever-silent knights. Were there any living beings underneath at all? _Deja-vu …_

With her free hand she nervously tugged at material of her flight overalls when she saw Jenin approaching.

“Asto, it looks like all systems are running flawless, and by that, I mean _all_.” Tavion knew very well that her supervisor was referring to the little incident with the accidentally triggered shot and cautiously cleared her throat while she briefly inspected the tips of her boots, exhaling audibly at her words.

“Sir”, with which she was addressing to the Commander, “Nevertheless the spare parts used should be replaced with original parts as soon as possible. Unfortunately, we could only work with conventional TIE fighter elements.” Instead of an answer, Ren merely nodded and then turned away.

 _Please, you're welcome, Commander Tinhead!_ She thought sourly and inwardly made a rude gesture in direction of that jerkface. _Such an arrogant asshole._ Oh how much Tavion would have loved to throw some large wrench at him, but unfortunately that item was in her locker. Certainly, would have made a nice sound if it had landed on his silly helmet.

For a moment she thought about starting a helmet collection. Different helmets, different tones, measured by the amount of air underneath. _Always have another string to your bow._

Suddenly the tall figure of Vicrul rushed past Tavion, so she jerked again and briefly considered shouting thanks after him, instead preferred to bite her tongue. Highly likely not interested anyway. As soon as the large gate closed behind Ren and bucket-face, she managed to loosen her clenched jaws, which had already started to hurt from the pressure.

“Asto.” Jenin's voice came into focus and she turned a little too much so that the connecting tubes of her helmet hit the legs of the woman in front of her.

“Sorry.” She mumbled cautiously and avoided looking at her superior. After the woman in front of her said nothing more, she looked up. There was that hidden smile again that made Tavion breathe a sigh of relief.

“Never mind. You did a really great job. Once more. And even if he is not able to admit it, I know that the Commander also thinks very highly of your work.”

_Oh no. No, no, no, no. I’d rather not._

“Thank you.” Tavion couldn't squeeze out more.

What did she expect? That it went unnoticed how she put her back into work? That no one noticed that she was the main mechanic in charge of the Night Buzzard because the others were too afraid of the Knights of Ren and their demeanor? She had seen quite a few team members come and go in all those years. Had recognized the fear in their eyes at the sight of the dark figures.

Tavion herself had learned to shed her fear because it was only an obstacle. With no doubt she could still feel it, somewhere in the back of her head and very rarely threatened to break free from the prison that Tavion had mentally built around it. But nobody was worth crouching in front of them. Not even a Commander Ren and his band of buckets. As long as she did her job and didn't let herself be distracted, everything was fine. As long as she did her job properly, she wouldn't be noticed.

The sound of Jenin's voice gave her a start. “I'll give you the rest of the day off. You have done enough. Take a rest.”

“With the utmost respect, ma’am, if you allow me, I would like to stay and do some minor repairs.” In no case would she let this night shift disrupt her daily routine. She noticed the shallow indolence that came with tiredness, but she certainly wouldn't give in to it. Jenin raised an eyebrow and it was clear she was against it. On the other hand, she’d known Tavion long enough to know her bullhead. So, she sighed softly. “Well. Get to work. But as soon as there are signs of exhaustion, withdraw. That's an order. Do you understand?” A forefinger dug almost painfully into Tavion's left shoulder, as if to emphasize the words of her superiors.

“Loud and clear, ma’am.” Tavion couldn’t prohibit to chuckle quietly.

Jenin sighed while she smiled “Well. Get to work, then. Counting on you.”

With a simple vigorous nod, Tavion signaled that she had understood and hurried through the now becoming busy hangar to the changing rooms and slipped back into her work overalls.

When she returned, she was very well aware of the looks that were on her. Some had heard of the incident with Vicrul, and no doubt the fact that she had been working on Ren's personal Whisper overnight. _That didn’t take long._

She swallowed dryly as she reached for her tool belt once more. The weight of the stares weighed heavily, and she cursed Ren. Nevertheless, she tried to free herself from the stranglehold.

Just keep going.

As until now.

Always on.

As ever.

For the next few days, that much was certain, she would not be able to swim under the radar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading. Please don't be shy and leave feedback, I appreciate it. :D


	3. Ignition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to change ...

Tavion should have known that this day would be a disaster. It had been a few weeks since the nightly repair service for Ren’s Whisper, and she was back to her normal life. The glances became less, the whispering dried up.

Since then, to her great relief, everything had gone normally - until today.

It had already started at breakfast. Tavion had scalded herself on her drink, which had never happened before. At least she couldn't remember it. And since she had a pretty good memory, she'd been convinced that she’d burnt her tongue for the first time ever. Actually, she should’ve already read the signs at this point.

Instead, Tavion had poured a glass of cold water into her mouth and prepared for her shift.

Then out in the corridor she had bumped into an oncoming officer still straightening her belt, as she always did. Nobody had ever run into her before.

He babbled something about being careful, so that Tavion had stared after him with a grim expression. Finally, in the hangar, she noticed that her M33 wrench was missing and she couldn't remember using it in the past few days. But since she had to work on a Silencer today, she needed it. She turned her entire locker upside down, but the tool was nowhere to be found. None of her teammates had seen it either. Then she gritted her teeth and turned to the responsible distribution officer named Nakkev, who was in charge of the delivery of spare tools during her shift as of today. He looked at her with unforeseen amusement in his dark eyes and aroused the need inside of her to misuse some of her screwdrivers, again. _Slimy bastard._

"Asto, Asto, Asto ... the success got a little to your head, huh?" He cooed as he handed her the needed wrench with an almost elegant motion. So much for that night of horror had disappeared from the heads of the others.

With a visibly angry expression on her face, Tavion snatched the tool from him and growled a "Screw you, Nakkev!" in his direction before she popped out of the warehouse with her head held high.

By now at the latest, she should have faked a migraine and take the rest of the day off. Which she had never done before.

Annoyed, she stomped over to the module where the silencer was waiting for her. Of course, she started a few minutes late, which pissed her incredibly. Still distracted by the little incident with this idiot called Nakkev, she was inattentive for a split second and turned the access to the engine too far, resulting in oil leaking due to the pressure inside - and of course splashed onto her overalls.

"What a sh-" Tavion cursed out loud and snatched the rag from her back pocket to wipe away at least the worst. The stuff was corrosive, and she could already smell the pungent odor from the chemical reaction. "This is just unreal."

Twisting her face Tavion straightened the solid fabric and examined the damage, which, to her relief, turned out to be less bad than initially assumed. Tavion had feared that she would’ve to return to her quarters and there slip into a spare overall, which would have cost her a good ten minutes of her valuable time. Less than two minutes later, she wished she'd accepted this waste.

Most of the workers in the port hangar were on their lunch break when suddenly a few officers stormed into the big hall and shouted something. Tavion stared at the men in complete confusion, as did the others present. Then she looked in the direction they were pointing at.

A much too fast Night Buzzard was on direct approach to the hangar, the bow already penetrated the blue barrier only a few seconds later.

“Oh please-” Tavion began before she broke off and dived aside, realizing quickly enough that the shuttle would touch the Silencer she was busy with. She slid a few meters above the ground and already heard the deafening scraping of metal on metal behind her and when she turned her head in the direction it was coming from, she saw the TIE fighter creaked to the side in slow motion and came to rest on the inclined solar modules.

Without taking her eyes off the gradually coming to a standstill Night Buzzard, she rapped herself up again, her eyes opened wide. She looked around quickly, but miraculously nobody seemed to have been injured. Now it was enough for her.

These bloody bollocks would eventually shatter her nerves. Anger rose inside her like she had never felt it before. With heavy steps she made it for the Night Buzzard and rolled up her sleeves in the meantime. Oh, they would regret the day they had been born, that much was for sure. Now there was even more work awaiting her. She could already hear the pilot howling about what on earth had happened to his beloved baby. _Oh pardon, but the knights had one of their fabulous moments again and landed a cinematic landing. It could have happened that they touched the TIE a little bit. Could be worse. Worse things happen at sea. Honestly. PAH!_ Setting up this stupid shuttle alone would take her an hour.

Tavion was just about to snarl at the still closed access ramp when it slid open with a hiss and the visibly overheated hydraulic system began to smoke dramatically. Tavion jumped backwards at the sight. Seven dark shapes stood out through smoke and red emergency lighting inside the spacecraft’s intestines.

 _Always having to make an exaggerated appearance_ , she griped in her mind. _What did we do this time?_

Oh, how hard it was not to throw these words at Ren's feet, dripping with mockery. Instead, as if through a wall, she registered the clatter with which the front part of the ramp hit the ground and the men inside began to move.

To her horror, Ren went straight for her and she had to gather all of her willpower not to back off with every step he took towards her. He came to halt a good five feet in front of her, his pack of prowlers right behind him.

Tavion furrowed her eyebrows. What was that supposed to be when it was done?

Her fingers tightened on the M33. _Confidence, stay where you are!_

“Asto, right?” _Ugh …_

Wary Tavion clenched her teeth as if not to make a derogatory noise over the sound of the modulated voice. Instead she nodded curtly.

“Where's Chief Mechanic Jenin?” _Obviously not here, Tinhead._

"She was called to an urgent meeting with General Hux.", Tavion instead replied in a flat voice, so as not to reveal a single spark of her actual attitude.

A few moments passed while she stared stubbornly at the mask. _Ridiculous._

“Then you are going to take care of the Night Buzzard.” With a slight movement of his head, he nodded in direction of the shuttle.

“Of course, _sir_.” She herself did not miss the cynical emphasis on the last word - and obviously neither did the bloodied idiot of a commander, because he paused for a tiny moment as he turned away from her. Finally, he continued undeterred, and Tavion kept firing blaster bolts into his back with her gaze. _Damn fool!_

Exhaling noisily, she walked towards the ramp of the Night Buzzard, which she only hesitantly stepped onto. She never liked this shuttle. It bore witness to the same gloom that surrounded Ren and his knights. A familiar shudder crept down her spine as she took the first step inside, a well-known companion whenever she was busy in this ship. She shivered.

The Night Buzzard was a former prisoner transport ship from Osseriton before it fell into the hands of the Ren and his fellows. Yes, she had done her homework. It was an individual model and adapted to the needs of its crew. In some of the more recent modifications Tavion had been involved herself. A heavily armored shuttle that was mounted with a worrisome number of weapons poised to spread fear and terror. Everything was dark and edgy, the interior sparse and makeshift, fitting the armor of the knights. Even the narrow bunks looked awkward. If she had to sleep in one of those her mood would be shitty as well.

 _Pay attention!_ She shook her arms out briefly and moved her head once to the left and then to the right. With her left hand she fumbled for the holopad, which dangled from her belt and had survived her acrobatics without damage. She released the snap hook it was attached to, and unlocked its screen to take an inventory. Scan first, then another, and after the second run-through manually. Later Tavion would take care of the external damage. She’d already seen the damage to the laser cannons with the naked eye.

Tavion decided to work from bow to stern and walked to the front of the shuttle without the tightness in her chest vanishing.

The hydraulic door was still open. Lucky, otherwise she would have had to run after them. Her universal access code didn't work on the Buzzard and Jenin wasn't there. She considered contacting her for a moment, but wasn't particularly fond of the general's gasping face, flushed and competing with his hair color.

As Tavion was just about to start the first scan in the cockpit she registered something at the edge of her field of vision. A little confused, her gaze turned down to the floor. There was something on the ground next to the co-pilot's seat. Because of the dark emergency lighting, she could hardly see anything. A black object on a black floor? It was a miracle that she even noticed something was there. She might as well have accidentally stepped on it.

As she leaned forward a little to take a closer look at the object, she cursed softly. That was the goddamn lightsaber from that shitty tin head.

Should she just pick it up? In her head she played the alternative scenario: she could tell someone about the find. Person in question then in turn had to pay attention to Ren and in the end, she got the scandal of her life because she hadn’t just picked up this thing and somehow passed it on to its owner.

_Sorry to decline._

Avion frowned. There was a voice in the back of her mind. It was very quiet and she almost didn't hear. A kind of tingling sensation, neither unpleasant nor pleasing. And that voice advised her to get an officer to take care of the matter. _For real?_

Who was she to suddenly listen to inner voices adding their two cents out of nowhere?

With one hand she held on to the headrest of the pilot's seat and leaned full-swing to pick up the lightsaber that lay on the ground.

As soon as her fingertips touched the cool metal grip, everything around her went black. It happened so abruptly her heart seemed almost to stop for a moment.

A whirring tore through the blackness.

Screams.

There were screams.

Panicked. Full of pain.

Women, men ... children.

Then came the pictures.

Black-red shreds, flashed through by lightning.

Blood and death.

The smell of burnt flesh tormented her scent.

She had to heave.

Tavion could taste bile, but also iron heavying the air.

Its smell was heavy in the wind.

Blaster shots.

A modulated voice whose words she couldn't understand.

Too distorted.

More of a screaming whisper so close to her ear she backed away.

Blindly she turned around.

Stumbled forward.

Hit her head but didn't see where.

Out. She had to get out of here.

Sheer panic sneaked into the furthest cell of her body.

Seized her mind.

She wanted to scream, but her throat was tight and dry.

Through the chaos of blasters, whirring, and screaming, she heard her own choppy breath.

Way too fast.

"No," she breathed, her voice frighteningly thin, and she wasn't even sure that she had uttered anything at all.

Her features were so twisted that the muscles under her skin began to hurt.

She still saw nothing but the jumble of black and red.

Where was she?

And what kind of all-consuming feeling was it that had started to eat its way out through her chest?

His steps were like dull thunder that echoed down the hallways. Like a black shadow his figure bolted through the corridors, like a nightmare managed to escape a sleeper’s dream.

Kylo held his hands clenched into fists at the side of his body, relaxed them a little, only to clench them all the more forcefully.

Rebel scum. They’d nearly thwarted his plans and discovered the spies they'd smuggled into a base on D’Qar. The fools believed the First Order knew nothing of their hiding place on the planet in the Outer Rim, and they wanted to leave it at that. They had been all the more unprepared when they’d almost gotten into a patrol.

After their crash landing, which they had completed undetected, he and his knights had already feared they would never get away from this planet. However, it was thanks to Kuruk's abilities to escape before the spies were exposed.

He swerved around a corner with the heavy footsteps of his knights close behind him. It didn't matter if they were successful. They’d been almost discovered. And that was the only thing he would have to put up with when reported to the Supreme Leader. Their triumph did not matter. Not everything had gone smoothly. A failure.

His jaws grinded incessantly as they struggled through the tangle of corridors. Stormtroopers, officers, lieutenants, no matter who came towards them, they all jumped out of the way, avoided them, took refuge in other corridors. The bravest of them positioned themselves to the side and saluted.

All of this was meaningless. Without giving them a look, he and his knights rushed towards their goal like a dark tide - when he stopped abruptly in motion and tilted his head.

An echo.

No, an ignition.

His head jerked in the direction he'd felt it coming from.

A shock of the Force.

It was as if someone had set off an explosive device powerful enough to turn anything in the area of detonation to ashes.

The offshoots rolled over him hungrily.

It was so powerful that he held his breath.

Someone's power was awakened.

“Asto.”

The images might have degenerated into a random flicker, but the blackness remained. The screams still wailed in her ears. Her heart pounded against the inside of her chest with such force it ached.

Her hand slid heavily over the cold, rough surface of the inside of the Night Buzzard, or at least she thought she was still there.

Her body was a collection of pain. Bones, muscles, entrails all roared and she was about to fall into her lament. But she didn't have any oxygen left for that.

Finally, the endless black cleared before her eyes, more a flash of the surroundings in which she was, still largely veiled by a dark mist.

She held an arm protectively in front of her eyes when something blinded her. Suddenly the ground tilted beneath her feet.

The ramp.

Tavion managed to keep her stumbled body from falling again by leaning back a little.

When she felt the familiar metal floor of the hangar underneath the soles of her boots, she dropped her arm, but narrowed her eyes.

When she opened them, blinking, she sucked in a breath and let her gaze wander.

Hastily she rubbed her eyes, but the darkness was still there.

No, hadn’t been a trick of her imagination.

Stormtroopers stood around her with weapons drawn - and only a few meters in front of her, Ren and his knights.

_What the kriff?!_

“Tavion Asto” Another wave of nausea swept over her as the distorted voice of Ren uttered her name. Immediately there were those images again, streaking uncontrollably in front of her inner eye.

Only now did she feel the weight of the lightsaber in her right hand. Her fingers were almost painfully cramped around the rough hilt. The uneven metal pressed coldly into her skin as she tightened the grip.

_Just put the sword on the ground._

_Put it down._

_Right away._

Her breath stuttered. Why didn't she just put it down? Clarified the matter to him?

But inwardly, Tavion had long since recognized the commandant wouldn’t ask for any clarification. He saw what he wanted to see. A mechanic with his lightsaber in hand. That should look clear to him.

Restlessly, her gaze slid over to the knights who stood staggered behind him, also with their weapons raised.

Tavion chewed the inside of her cheek until it ached. What kind of shit had she gotten herself into here? She wouldn't get out of the act without further ado, even if she gave in.

Unobtrusively she pushed her thumb up, which moved searchingly over the hilt until it brushed a small bump. Was that the switch for activation?

Kylo Ren changed his posture. It was only a small movement, but it was enough to start the panic in Tavion running amok. A torrent of adrenaline started pumping through her veins and without wasting another thought, she pulled the trigger.

There was a loud crackling sound.

The force with which the wildly flickering blade leaped out was enormous; it almost jerked her arm back, but she was quick enough to put her other hand on the hilt and held the lightsaber in front of her protectively. At the same time, her body went defensive, almost unnoticed by her mind. _What are you doing?_

She took a step back as one of the knights stepped forward, whom she didn't know by name. One of those rumored to be in the background.

In his hands he held an enormous weapon, its form disfigured and terrifying, the blade’s surface scrapped with signs of long usage. No doubt he had blown the life out of quite a few poor souls. With this particular thought in mind he attacked her two breaths later, causing Tavion to yank her arms up in defense. With wide strides he built up momentum which boded ill prompting her to back off further where only the wide agape maw of the Night Buzzard awaited her. Her fingers tightened around the hilt in her hands, the crackling still angry as if she held rage itself in her grip. Then came the first strike.

The force of his blows could hardly be fended off. If Tavion hadn't been full of adrenaline, he would have knocked her to the ground with the first blow.

But contrary to the absolute absurdity of the situation in which she found herself, she kept pulling up the sword and parrying the blows. The shocks rattled her wrists and made the bones inside vibrate until she felt some sort of numbness wrapping around them. In no way she would be able to take this much longer anymore.

"Enough!" Ren’s voice suddenly cut the tense silence only disturbed by the hissing blade of the lightsaber.

In the next moment an invisible force snatched the handle from her and maneuvered it directly into Kylo Ren's outstretched right hand. Tavion himself stumbled a step forward and would have tripped directly into the man looming in front of her, who had already lowered his weapon when she was grabbed from the side.

Confused, she looked at her capturer. That guy she knew.

Vicrul.

His hands closed around her upper arms with an iron grip.

"Take her to one of the cells." was his brief order before the guy behind her pushed her roughly in front of him.

Tavion saw little of this. Her mind raced. Silenced. Screamed. All at the same time.

What exactly had just happened here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for reading. From now on the story will take its way. Means, we're done with the prologue chapters. From now on things will get exciting - or at least I hope so. :D Hope you're in for the next chapters.


	4. One for the shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting ... complicated.

Blackness surrounded here once more. One thing was for sure, this would turn into a bad habit though on this occasion, however, something was different. Covered Tavion like a tight piece of fabric. Reluctantly her eyelids fluttered open. For a fleeting moment she feared that the darkness that had already tortured her had returned. But no.

Still caught in a sleepy daze, she prepared to wipe away the strands that hung on her forehead. Strangely, something was preventing her hands from moving.

A tad confused Tavion looked down at herself. She was tied up. That explained a lot. Wide metal straps held her in place. Wrists and ankles, even the middle of her body, had been fixed.

_No panic. Take a deep breath._

She closed her eyes again and took a few deep breaths, tried to inhale into her stomach to slow her heart rate down a bit and to organize her thoughts, much more, to silence them so she could concentrate.

When Tavion had fell calm enough, her gaze wandered around again. This chair. She had heard of it. Undoubtedly one of those interrogation thingies. Interesting in a morbid way, if one wasn’t tied up upon one of them oneself.

The lighting was poor. A few elements were found on the ceiling and dim light fell down, barely managed to illuminate anything. And even if there’d been enough light, very much wasn’t around her.

Tavion was still wearing her overalls, the long shirt and tight-fitting pants that lay underneath were sticking uncomfortably to her back and she was cold. That was actually the worst part of the whole situation, although being tied to a torture chair should be far more disturbing. Just kind of didn't. The confrontation with one of Ren’s army of buckets had been much more frightened.

She searched her brain for any technical data she'd ever gotten about the _Finalizer_ \- size, capacity, fire power, everything. While thinking, Tavion craned her neck a to get a better view of the cuffs. Durasteel, of course. Refractory, what didn’t apply for the cables protruded here and there. No noticeable locks, at least not on the top. But could also be mechanical, connected to any control panel. Her eyes slid to the walls. There was indeed a console with various monitors and switches, but these were probably used rather for monitoring the vital functions of the prisoners. _How lovely._

On the other hand, she couldn't imagine that the controls for this chair had been attached directly to it. That would make absolutely no sense. Should the prisoner manage to free even one hand, it would be easy to loosen the rest of the brackets.

As a test, she pulled one leg up to see how tight the leg cuffs were. Tight enough that she couldn't free her foot from the steel embrace. Great.

_Honestly, Tavion, what were you thinking? A lightsaber? Against Kylo Ren, master of buckets? A clear fit of madness, that's for sure._

Tavion jolted from her thoughts when the door panels hissed aside and a darkly clad figure entered the small room. The darkness seemed to spread immediately.

Ren.

In full gear. _Maximum surprise._

Seemed she wasn't the only one with established habits. Instantly Tavion bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from a goofy grin.

To avoid looking at him, she preferred staring straight ahead at the now closed door. Listened to his footsteps leading slowly around the chair until he came back into view on the other side.

When he finished his circular path, Ren stopped right in front of her.

_Ugh._

His towering figure leaned over the shackled body of hers, looming barely an arm's length away. As persistent as Tavion’s urge was to avert her face and get rid of Commander Tinhead’s sight and his all the time intimidating mask, she held his indistinguishable gaze.

Never she had felt any fear at the sight of this kind of disguise. Rather, aversion and incomprehension. However, now that his _face_ was staring so blatantly in her direction, things were a little different.

To her surprise, Tavion felt a touch of anger build up inside her, causing her eyebrows drew together. Whatever he was up to, she already wasn’t in the mood for it.

"Why did you take the lightsaber?", demanded the distorted voice of Commander Ren. Everything in her resisted at the sound and an uncomfortable shudder ran through her body. _Ugh._

Was he serious? Tavion was careful not to appear too condescending. Wouldn’t go down well, she guessed.

“I was hired to record the damage inside the Night Buzzard. In doing so, I came across the lightsaber. It was on the floor between the pilot seats in the cockpit.” She described truthfully and with an indifferent tone. He shouldn't believe that this mattered to her in any way. But Tavion could feel it. The faint knock of fear in the back of her head. Making clear she would not be able to lie to herself in the long run.

A muffled huff was to be heard.

"Why did you enlighten the saber?"

Her impassive facade crumbled and she could barely hold back the derogatory snort forming at the back of her throat.

 _Oh no, no, no, you will omit that!_ _You have to be above such things. No teasing!_

“I panicked when I saw you and your knights, sir.” Tavion could hear the sarcastic undertone of her own voice clearly. But as long as her face remained without any expression, it should be fine with her. How long did such an interrogation usually last? Maybe she should simply apologize.

“You don’t seem particularly worried.” When Tavion heard those words, she supressed an amused snort and shook her head.

“Why should I? I haven’t done anything.”

“That remains to be seen.” He said with a calm voice, as if he knew something of which Tavion had no knowledge. Now she felt a burgeoning uncertainty; what was the guy up to? Watchfully she followed his steps, while he slowly paced up and down, never leaving her field of vision.

Then, he stopped, turning his masked face back to Tavion.

“Who are your parents?" Tavion's gaze leapt steadily to the narrow visor behind which she assumed his eyes. Her own narrowed into slits, drawing her eyebrows together. Why did he want to know? She waited, but not long enough he was forced to repeat the question.

"I don't know.", was her answer. The mocking undertone was gone from her voice. When the person opposite did nothing more than to keep staring at her, she continued. “My memory was deleted when I was about nineteen or twenty. Since then I've worked as a mechanic and technician for the First Order.” Her own words echoed mercilessly in her ears. It didn't bother her. She had believed. But speaking the fact out loud aroused an unexpected desperation within her that she did not know where it came from. What one didn't know, one couldn't miss either. Right? Tavion’s attention switched back to Ren when he spoke again.

“You'd better tell me the truth, Asto. Who are your parents?" Now she thought she heard something threatening hidden deep inside his voice.

There it was again, the rage. Rage that snapped at her, drooling. _Why should I lie?_ Tavion was sure he didn't know an answer to that question. So, she decided not to ask.

“Like I said before” And this time some anger seeped into her voice as well. "I do _not_ know."

Suddenly he leaned closer to her until the distance between her face and his was barely a cubit. She turned away in disgust. Again, some of the images she had seen flickered up. Blood and darkness accompanied with buzzing. Tavion stiffened within the shackles.

As abruptly as Ren had approached her, he went back to distance, and by doing so, he stretched out his right hand until it hovered a few centimeters in front of her face.

When she was about to ask him what this crap was about, she sensed something. A slight pull.

No, a push ...

She looked at him confused, but of course there was nothing else but that damn mask, that ridiculous thing that got on her wick increasingly.

Her focus again shifted to Ren as this strange sensation grew stronger in her head. The pulling superimposed the feeling of pressure many times over and she was about to describe it as uncomfortable. It went on for a few minutes. And Tavion dared not interrupt what he was doing. Instead, she endured the slow and penetrating pain, still trying not to show what she was feeling. Never she would owe him satisfaction. Suddenly Ren lowered his hand and the pulling disappeared. There was only an aching throb behind her forehead.

"That's interesting." It was impossible to see any emotion in the modulated voice. Tavion let out a noisy breath. Sickled, he wouldn't hesitate to tell her what exactly he thought was interesting. "You are telling yourself the truth."

Now she couldn't avoid making a contemptuous sound and putting on a suitable grin. _Really? You don't say, tin head. Applause. The commander realized that I didn't cheated him._

If her hands had not been tied, she would have clapped.

 _Don't say it, shut up ..._ But it was already too late.

"Crafty as a vulptex, aren’t you?" Her voice dripped with mockery and the disapproving grin grew even wider. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed how Ren’s gloved hands clenched into fists until the leather began to crunch softly. _Great …_

For a few moments he said nothing. Only stared down at her, she guessed. When he finally had found his voice again, Tavion dryly gulped.

“You are an empty shell. A blank slate. There was absolutely nothing. No memories of a family. Homeland. Friends. You're alone. Nobody."

The smile on Tavion’s features froze. The fact that Ren was uttering all these things in a calm voice, almost uninterested, made his statement worse. She knew all of this. Hearing it, however, being aware there was someone else besides herself who now possessed knowledge about her so-called _past_ , pulled the ground from under her feet.

The bitter excitement quickly gave way to renewed anger. Hot and panting, it rushed through her body and every muscle in her body tensed, while Tavion braced herself against the shackles. It’s not that her behavior impressed the man in front of her in the least. _You just wait and see, you smug asshole! As soon as I've somehow got rid of those shitty shackles, I'll tear this silly thing off your head and put it into your-_

"Are you a member of the Resistance?" Ah, so the questioning game continued.

_Wait what?_

"Huh?" Her condition switched back to confusion. Gradually, Tavion could no longer cope with the rapid change in her emotions.

A dissatisfied sound escaped the commander and Tavion would probably have laughed if he had tried to briefly touch his forehead. He didn't. Unfortunately.

"Whether you belong to the Resistance." The figure in front of her seemed to be irritated. _Very well._

What was the question now? _Resistance? Me?_

Tavion gave an amused snort and chuckled softly. She must have misheard. Twice.

But somehow the dark cladded man simply stared down at her. _Wait a minute, is he serious?_

"Are you for real?"

"Do you think I'm doing this for my pleasure?"

 _Oh yeah. Definitely. I don't just believe that, I’m absolutely_ convinced _!_

"I ask you for the very last time: Do you belong to the Resistance?"

"Of course! I belong to the Resistance and at the same time I work for the First Order. For almost eleven years!” She teased, half angry, half amused. "Do you actually hear yourself talking, you helmeted solid dumbass?"

The fact that this bastard didn't show any reaction only made her angrier. He still seemed to be waiting for an answer.

"No! What kind of stupid question is that?” She spat upset, no longer able to hide her state of mind. Had Ren gone mad? Was the helmet dented somewhere and pressing into his frontal cortex? Would’ve explained the hood. Again, she braced herself against the cuffs, her jaws pressed together in the effort. Ren didn't even flinch. Gosh, he was pretty convinced of this construction. Breathing heavily, Tavion gave up after a few seconds of trying.

Her head was spinning. Still she struggled to grasp the situation she was in. Through this chaos of feelings and emotions, which she could not control, something else made itself felt.

Had been there all along, like a shallow echo or a premonition.

Not quite tangible.

But now it tore the surface more strongly. Made itself noticed, stretched itself out, stretched itself like an animal awakened from a deep slumber.

Tavion blinked absently a few times.

"What ...?" She whispered so softly that even she wasn't sure whether she had even spoken the thought. Out of habit she wanted to raise her hands and massage her temples, but the cursed bonds prevented her.

"You seem confused."

“Oh, thank you very much. I didn't notice it at all. ", She snapped at him. As if he could or would give her any explanation. However, it was the only way to find out anything at the moment. She let out a jerk.

“What exactly happened to me? In the Night Buzzard? When I touched the handle-” Since she wasn't really expecting an answer, she winced when he cut her off.

"Do you know what the Force is?"

The Force? She considered. Back and forth. _Yes_.

Yes, she had read about it. It’d been a while.

Jedi.

Sith.

 _Vader_.

The last word was more of a dark sigh that interrupted her deliberations. She made a face. But nodded.

"There was an awakening of the Force," he continued, his gaze still resting on her. "In you."

_What?_

"What?!" Her voice broke away. Sounded croaking. Not like hers. "How do you know?"

"Force users are able to feel it. My knights have also sensed."

As he spoke, other things came into her mind she had read about. And every further detail made her panic again.

More powerful this time.

It had sensed its chance.

Grabbed her and let her pull it out of the shadows.

Moved into focus.

“That is not possible.” Wasn't she too old for that? Why now? Ren had to be wrong.

_Are you completely sure of that?_

There it was again.

This voice.

The same voice that warned her not to touch the lightsaber.

She swallowed dryly.

_No, no, no, no! Just no!_

“Can it be undone?” Like a cutting knife this question hung over them in the sparse room, the dark walls and floor were beginning to narrow. Her breathing frequency increased as did the pounding of her pulse.

Ren leaned forward again, but came less close than last time. "Undo it? Do not make a fool of yourself. The Force is a boon. A gift."

Tavion frowned. A gift? Restoring the _balance_ , whatever that meant, was it a _gift_?

_I doubt it._

Dull in her memory, she thought she remembered old stories she had heard. Maybe read. When? Where? She didn't know anymore. And memories could be deceptive.

Feeling the fact that something was different left her staggering. Coupled with the panic that had covered her like a shroud, she thought she was going to lose her mind any moment. She had never felt like this before. Exerted, even desperate, she searched for a word.

Lost.

An indefinable sound stole from her lips.

No. You mustn't give in to that.

"Now. Assuming you're correct: why exactly am I here? In that chair? Are you scared? Of me?” Tavion noticed the brief twitch in Ren's left hand. A tiny movement, but she was sure she had seen it. “Is that why you're wearing this ridiculous thing?” She nodded her chin in the direction of his helmet. “Do you have to compensate something to be taken seriously? Doesn't work very well. You don't impress me with that.”

 _Who are you trying to prove to?_ Tavion knew how dangerous this game could become. Well, maybe not one hundred percent, otherwise she would’ve kept her mouth shut.

Clearly, she heard the soft crunch of leather as Ren clenched his hands into tight fists again.

“I'm not impressed by your little show. You have no reason to feel superior in any way. It is not me who is tied up. I know who I am. Where my place is. You do not. You are nobody. Nothing. Without memory.”

A punch couldn't have been more effective. Whatever Tavion thought to reply, she swallowed it down. Tried to keep her expression neutral to not reveal her inner turmoil. Tavion felt how she failed.

As if through a veil, she watched how the commander turned away from her and left her to her thoughts. Tavion was trapped. And she didn't know what was worse: the chains holding her in place or the knowledge that Ren's words were true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. :3  
> I know I repeat myself, but once again, thank you for reading. This means the world to me, every single hit, every single kudo and comment. I've never really believed there would be people reading this. From now on the story will speed up, please stay with me as we'll dive more into the depths of this story. :D


	5. One for the run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mess is continuing ...

Kylo could be satisfied with himself. The interrogation had gone well. Asto hadn't given him any new information, but he’d also been able to avoid revealing what her pointed remarks had triggered inside of him.

That was good.

He should be satisfied.

But he wasn't.

The almost overwhelming need to yank the sword from his belt and let his anger run free, stubbornly gnawed at him.

His jaws grinded.

Incessantly.

_Are you scared?_

He clenched his fists as tightly as he could.

Loosened up again.

Pulled them back together, stronger than before.

_Of me?_

By now his muscles were tense enough he noticed their nascent trembling. Kylo’s figure loomed inside the wide room with its black and grey walls and ceiling like a sinister shade wandering around, something darker than shadows, something lurking within the blackness caught in corners, where the dim light didn’t reach anything.

Sure, he knew that woman was mocking him, at least he had searched for information, and maybe he should even consider to send out some agents gathering knowledge about what she was like in personal. Information that wouldn’t had been recorded.

The dull sound of footsteps tore him out of his rigidity.

Kylo looked up as the doors slid aside and recognized General Hux, closely followed by Chief Mechanic Jenin, who looked utterly confused.

After leaving Asto to her own devices, he had sent for them. He needed information. This mechanic had certainly not noticed, but he was also surprised by her awakening.

Unpleasantly surprised.

He had not yet informed the Supreme Leader of his discovery. It might not have been a smart move, but for now it was enough if no one but himself and the knights knew about that woman until he had found out more. The leather of his gloves faintly crackled when Kylo flexed his fingers.

Well, Asto _could_ be useful. But just as dangerous and he knew what Marful would say: watch it. Could be a distraction. However, it would be easy to use her confusion about her situation to their ends. Kylo could shape her. But the Supreme Leader would possibly not allow that. Not as long as-

"What's going on here, Ren?" Came the usual mocking voice of Hux, who dropped into one of the chairs at the long table in the conference room. The smooth material of its surface softly creaked when the slender frame of the General sat down, his uniform blended in with the dark color.

Kylo waited for a few seconds before he finally answered.

"There was a little incident," he began, moving around the table while watching Jenin as she sat down too.

"Continue." Hux already sounded bored and plucked imaginary fluffs from his pitch-black uniform jacket.

He ignored the red-haired man who, as always, had used too much pomade to put his hair back for Kylo’s personal liking.

"Chief Mechanic Jenin. Mechanic MT-1432, name Tavion Asto, works among you.” He now turned to his other guest. Jenin eyed him uncertainly, as if she wasn't sure he wanted an answer. He made it easy for her by continuing. "Have there ever been problems with her?"

He clearly saw the woman's eyes widen in disbelief.

“With Asto? No sir. No way. She is a very reliable employee who knows what she is doing. Maybe better than anyone else who works for my team. She is very committed and educates herself independently."

He almost thought so. Kylo paced up and down the spacious room a few times before stopping at the large front window that gave a view of the snow-covered expanses of Ilum. Thanks to Hux he’d been the one to travel there. And for technical reasons Jenin was deployed for some days at the _Starkiller Base_ as well. “Do you think it is possible that she is part of the Resistance?” He turned to his guests. Jenin looked at him visibly horrified.

“Sir?”

“Answer, Jenin.”

“No sir! Never.” The tall woman said emphatically. She had leaned forward, hands spread on the smooth black surface, moving them up and down with every single syllable. “Not Asto. That's ridiculous.”

“What is this all about, Commander?” Hux joined the conversation again, an eyebrow raised and the usual arrogant expression on his face.

With long strides Kylo returned to the table and positioned himself across from the addressee.

He clenched his fists and leaned forward, propping himself up on the polished surface with his knuckles. The small lightning dots embedded in the ceiling were reflected by the glossy finish.

Thus, his guests were forced to look up to him. Hux in particular would be bothered by that. Kylo knew that and this knowledge had a downright soothing effect on his angry mind.

“MT-1432 stole an essential item from me. I caught her more or less. "

Kylo heard a sharp inhale from Jenin as if she was shocked how he could even think about that. Interested he turned his face towards her and waited for an explanation.

“Sir, Asto would never do that! Damn it, she's been working for me for seven years!” Jenin was obviously outraged by what he said. Apparently, the chief mechanic actually thought very highly of Asto. Carefully he entered her mind unnoticed and searched through her thoughts unnoticed by the woman herself. Contrary to his expectations, he found nothing. She didn't know anything. Was absolutely useless.

“Still, she did.”

Jenin’s increasingly angry tone tugged at his nerves. Kylo’s breath trembled as he sucked in air and out again deeply to calm himself.

How little did they knew about him. Sometimes it bothered Kylo. Yes, most of the crew members knew he had some powers a lot of them had no explanation for, but sometimes he wanted them to know of what he was capable of. Maybe then they all would stop making fun when another console had fallen victim to his anger, especially when they became aware of the fact it could have been their head the blade of his saber chopped off. For his liking there were a lot of people who didn’t fear him enough. Asto was one of them, considering her behavior during the interrogation.

Without realization his own mind began to drift away. It was only when Hux sighed theatrically that Kylo hit back into reality.

"What exactly did she take?" Kylo’s eyes darted right towards him, which the general couldn’t see, though he was pretty convinced Hux could _feel_ his gaze upon him.

“Insignificant.”

"All right." Hux raised both eyebrows briefly and put both arms on the table’s surface where he entwined them and leaned forward, putting on an artificial smile. "And from where exactly did she take this _insignificant_ object?"

“The Night Buzzard.”

There was another sigh from Hux, more annoyed this time.

“Commander, I would appreciate if I didn't have to drag it all out of you.” The general complained with a nasty snort and leaned back, his arms resting loose in his lap. That bastard wanted to provoke him. Wouldn’t be the first time. Kylo was used to that odd fondness of the general. Hux would never admit it, but somehow, he seemed to need his attention, ensured he did that is.

“According to her statement, she only picked up the said item from the ground. However, she directed it against me after we had confronted her.” Kylo continued his explanation without reacting to Hux’s words. Would’ve be pointless without question.

“Wait a minute. She picked something up from the _floor_?” Hux‘s voice oozed with mockery and a crooked grin had settled on his lips. "Did you contemplate that maybe she just wanted to give you back what she found?"

“If so, why didn't she just do it?”

“ _Commander_ , she's a mechanic. I don't think she has a lot to do with the troops except during occasional shooting training sessions. And as I know you, you immediately had a dozen men, _my_ men to be exact, and your knights rallied around her, to _‘catch the thief’_.” With Hux drawing quotation marks into the air with his index and middle finger. “I guess, she has just panicked.”

Kylo knew how much Hux enjoyed wallowing in his inadequacies. Like the pig he was. “General Hux, I have my reasons to question her motives.”

“Oh, of course, you have-”, but Hux got no further. He began to choke as soon as Kylo had reached out his right arm. Satisfied, he saw how the general's face turned red, how his eyes bulged and he gasped while his hands tried to grasp around the invisible grip that was gradually suffocating the man’s trachea. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jenin's face, twisted with fear, who did not understand what was happening. "Moderate your tone, General," he hissed at him after a while before letting go of him. Coughing and choking, Hux doubled over in his chair. "I will release MT-1432 of her duties until I have found out more."

“But sir-” Jenin began, but when his masked head shifted in her direction, she paused, startled. "Yes, sir."

“Let me assure you, if there is nothing suspicious about her person, I personally take care of her release.” Kylo tried to give his modulated voice a somewhat soothing undertone, but of course failed. It didn’t matter anyway. “Until then I devolve you the responsibility to find a suitable replacement for MT-1432.”

Jenin shot an aghast glance at him, before her eyes shifted back to Hux, who recovered steadily from Kylo’s offense. Just then she retrieved her voice again.

“For how long exactly do you want to capture her?” The woman breathed in sheer disbelief, her tone thin and fragile. For the split of second he felt sympathy. Asto seemed to be very important to her, not only from the sight as a superior.

But as fast as the sensation had burst through the surface of his conscious mind, he forced it back. _Pathetic._

Jenin didn’t care about showing him her weaknesses. But within the First Order there was no space for feelings or emotions, friendships or relationships. Such needless things were reserved for the higher command levels – needless to say, _if_ their members found the necessary time.

“As long as it is required.”

Jenin ducked her head a little bit, before nodding to signal she had understood. “With your permission, I would like to head back to the hangar as there is a lot of work to do.”

“Of course. You are dismissed.” Kylo replied in agreement and watched the tall woman uprising and leaving the conference room a few seconds later. Hux on his behalf stood up accented slowly without his deadly gaze letting go of him before he turned his back on Kylo and stomped into the hallway. Kylo couldn’t have cared less.

The tension decreased a little bit, still it was sticking to his bones, which he obviously felt.

Breathing audibly, he wished there would be some time to relax, but as usual there was none.

No rest for the wicked.

Never.

Tavion stared at the closed door for what felt like an eternity and while she did, she tried to figure out the different meanings and forms of said term. The longer she did, the more she became aware of the unbearable silence surrounding her. Under different circumstances she would’ve been utterly grateful for the quietness, but caught within those menacing walls of the interrogation chamber she couldn’t get rid of the feeling it began to glue its gloomy nature right to her mind. Tavion had to get the hell out of here! Immediately!

Who knows when that lunatic Tinhead decided to return and continue whatever it was. There was no way she urged to find out.

Once more Tavion braced herself against the damn metal shackles, with clenched teeth and roaring with the strain along with her tense muscles.

“Shit, damn kriff!” Cursing she wiggled as far as possible, only to realize her efforts were completely useless.

After the first wave of deep frustration had passed, Tavion inspected the bonds again. Restlessly she shifted on the chair once more when something hit the outer side of her knee.

Irritated, she looked down at herself and moved her leg a little bit. There was something in her pocket.

Yes of course! A small plasma-wrench. They must have overlooked the item when she’d been searched and all tools had been removed.

The only problem was - the bag was so far down that it couldn't be easily reached. She could pull the flap, but that’s all what was about to happen.

"Blasted!" The crappy bow fixating her upper body sat tight enough making it more or less impossible for her to move. Nevertheless, she didn't even think about giving up. Tavion stretched her left hand as far as she was able into the pocket, but couldn't reach the handle. _Come on!_

She clenched her teeth and pressed her arm that far into the cuffs, she was afraid she wouldn’t be capable to pull her fingers back anymore.

Carefully she shook the leg, hoping to push the tool a little higher by the movement.

"Come on, please, for fuck’s sake!" Tavion knew it was pointless and yet she didn't want to give in. Suddenly she felt the cool metal of the handle between her fingers. She paused in surprise. Had the shaking helped actually? Or was it maybe …

_No, nooo, don’t even_ think _about it._

“Concentrate Asto, you can ponder about that later.”

Unfortunately, she could absolutely not see which cable proceeded into which direction or even sockets or receptacles. Meaning, if she was unlucky, she would deep-fry herself.

_Well, still better than another round with the Tinhead._

She switched on the small device and carefully moved the tiny flame to the metal bracket. Sparks flew in all directions, burning her skin a little, but most of it was protected by the sleeve. It hissed and hummed briefly, then the shackles popped open. To her humble dismay, this move of hers activated the interrogation droid, which hovered towards her with a beeping sound. "Nah, right?", She cursed softly, while she was already loosening the other handcuff. This finally snapped back, too, just in time to keep the black monster from giving her any injection.

“Very sorry IT-000, but you won't screw this up for me now.", She pressed out in awe after she had grabbed the droid and tore the power supply cable from its anchorage. Furious, it beeped a few more times before the mechanism holding it in the air failed and hit the floor with a crash.

She quickly freed herself from the rest of her bonds and hurried to the door. It wasn't locked, so for the time being she just stuck her head out to see if the air was clear. Certainly, it wouldn't be long before someone noticed that she was about to bunk off. When no one was in sight, she shoved herself into the corridor and hurried away, crouching. If at least she had her holopad. She had to get to her quarters somehow and get out of here. Ren was certainly up to no good, that much was certain.

Tavion was completely without knowledge about her precise location on the prison ward.

Over and over again she glanced over her shoulder so as not to be surprised from behind. Tavion was just about to turn a corner when she ran into something with full force, strong enough to tear her off her feet. It rattled loudly as she fell forward on her stomach.

"Ouch ..." Groaning, she propped herself up on her hands to see what it had been causing her to stumble. Wondering she stared down at a round, cylinder-shaped black droid head that spun on the floor a good two meters from her before it clattered to a stop. _That’s not true_ ...

The head belonged to a BB-9E unit. Her gaze wandered further down the corridor and saw the body rolling around apparently disoriented before its sensors seemed to gather the position of its head.

"No, no, no!" She pressed out, jumping hastily to her feet, watching the body headed towards its missing body part to get it back. "You won't set off an alarm here!" Tavion hurried forward and reached it first before the magnet mechanism came within range. With one strong kick she kept the rolling body at distance, cheers for the reinforced work shoes, and ran into the next best gear. With the head tucked under her arm, she looked for some door that would open. She was in the detention center, so there had to be some instruments of torture around here! The tiny hatch, which hid the recalibration system in form of an even tinier button, would not be opened with bare fingers. And the small tool alone that hit her leg with every step was useless against the inoxium the droid was made of. She could have tried to reach the power charging socket and cause a short circuit, but one destroyed droid a day was enough. Tavion’s bad conscience concerning the torture droid surely would accompany from now on for a while.

With the disoriented droid body close on her heels, she darted through the hallways as silent as possible.  
Several failed attempts and empty cells later, Tavion bolted into an open room similar to her own cell as soon as its door slid open when she nearly had lost hope.

Tavin halted abruptly when her glance fell upon what was hidden there.

_What feast for the eyes lays there in front of my inflamed eyes?_

A torture workbench.

Even better: a torture workbench with a _wide variety of instruments_.

She threw the droid’s head onto the table before hastily rummaging through what was spread on the metal surface. What the heck were those guys doing all day with that kind of stuff? Maybe she should throw a thanks into Ren’s direction the next time for not using any of them when interrogating her.

“What do we have here? No. What's that, no!” In between she looked behind, only to see the body roll over. “Stay away from me! I’m not done yet, very sorry!” Making a step backwards she stretched her body as much as possible and laboriously pushed the droid away with one foot to keep it out of the orbit of the magnetism mechanics. She had to uphold the distance at all costs. Otherwise, this cute little ball would snitch her.

Since her strength was slowly failing, Tavion finally grabbed something, which looked a bit like a completely morbid hammer, trying not to examine the item too closely. With full force she hit the small hatch until it almost jumped off and dug her finger into the small opening to operate the switch. Immediately the vehement attempts of the droid’s body to complete itself stopped again.

Almost out of breath, she propped herself up on the table and hung her head and tried to take deep breaths. Mostly relaxed, she let her gaze wander around the room - and stuck to a pair of warm, dark eyes under dark eyebrows watching her curiously.

"Oh."

Tavion had been thus focused on taking that droid out of action that she hadn't even noticed she'd walked straight into an occupied cell. Well, _occupied_. She internally marked this term with quotation marks.

"Hello!" Said a friendly and clear voice, less low than she had expected with his looks. Tavion narrowed her eyes to slits. For someone tied to an interrogation chair, the man in front of her seemed quite cheerful. He was injured indeed, had bruises on his face and one of the wounds on his forehead was deep enough to cause blood running down his right temple, which had dried. That guy had to be older than her. Tavion recognized single white hair in his stubble and his hair was streaked with gray here and there.

"Hello," she replied hesitantly, straightening up again. That was kind of … odd.

"Since you shut down an astromech, I assume that you don’t belong to the First Order?" His gaze slid down her overalls, a crooked smile on his lips. Asto thought for a moment. She didn't know why, but she liked the man straight away. That was unusual for her.

"That depends on who asks.", She replied, but put the thing that pretended to be a hammer aside and turned towards him. The smile broadened a little, wide enough to catch a glimpse of his shiny white teeth.

“Poe Dameron. Pleased to meet you.” He chuckled in slight amusement only to grimace in pain. She couldn't remember ever hearing anyone laugh like that. That ... sincere.

"Tavion Asto." She introduced herself, not exactly knowing what got into her to do so. Where was the distrust commonly sticking to her side like a branch growing out of a tree’s trunk?

His attention stayed on her for a few moments before he continued.

"Well, Tavion, would you mind getting me out of this thing? It's getting a bit uncomfortable.” He joked. The longer she looked at him, the more she noticed how exhausted he was under all that kindness. There were dark circles under his eyes, a few of the blackish brown curls were stuck to his forehead and none of the wounds looked even remotely like they had been professionally treated. Even as a layperson, she was able to notice.

Immediately Tavion stepped behind the chair and shut down the system with the metal bars snapped open, watching Pow as he carefully stepped down from the flat pedestal. His legs were wobbly and his movements slow. Tavion felt her hands twitch automatically to help him, but she didn’t in the end.

“Give me a moment.” Poe muttered and leaned a little forward, grimacing slightly again. He must have been trapped in this thing for some time.

While conceding this moment of recovery, she restarted the droid and put its head back on the body. After a minute or so, the multi-spectrum photoreceptor started up again and looked around.

_Argh, that red glow spoils everything._

He beeped a few times but Asto cut him off with a rude gesture to shut him up.

"Am I correct in assuming that you want to get off this ship too?" She turned asking to Poe, who had meanwhile lifted himself up, smiling again.

"I absolutely have no objections."

"Well, then we have to get down from the prison station first."

Together – which means with BB-9E - they walked through the hallways until they arrived at one of the elevators with which they were able to leave the station.

During their escape, Poe informed her he had flown an attack on the _Finalizer_ a few days ago, but he was caught. According to him, his spaceship was in the main hangar, which from their position was closer than the one on the port side.

They were just on their way to the next elevator to get to the next lower levels when they ran into two stormtroopers who looked no less perplexed than Poe and Tavion.

"Fresh meat for the mechanics!” She hurried to say and gave Poe a friendly slap onto the left shoulder, so that his eyes almost bulged out of his skull. _Sorry._

That seemed to be enough of an explanation as they nodded without saying anything and continued their patrol. _What bunch of jerks_.

Tavion pushed Poe into the next aisle. The hallways down here were white up to the ceiling. The floor however was made from a very dark metallic material and set a contrast to the brightness of the walls which blinded her. They crossed the recreational area for the storm troopers, only to walk straight into the next patrol.

_Oh shit._

“Commander, I assure you _again_ that everything has been prepared in the most careful way. I only ask you to be allowed to disembark now to make the final preparations on _Starkiller Base_.” The general rubbed his left temple, his eyes closed and his face annoyed by no means, not even caring for the sour mood of Kylo.

“You don't understand the problem, Hux!”

“You don't give me sufficient information about the matter either, Ren! Does the Supreme Leader know about the fuss you are putting here? Because in my opinion there is no problem around, I have to bother about.” Hux's red-blonde eyebrows formed a strict line and his green eyes flared up aggressively when they snapped open.

"Watch your mouth, General!" Kylo growled aggressively and tried to make his appearance broader by bending his arms slightly.

“I definitely won't do that while you’re jeopardizing the operation. As far as I'm concerned, no matter how often you use your little tricks, it won't distract anyone from the fact that you are ultimately responsible if things go wrong in the upshot.” Hux pointed with an outstretched forefinger at Kylo to give significance to his words.

Kylo pressed his lips together, the rage inside him craved to be released and given free rein. It was less what Hux said than the truthfulness of his words, creating almost physical pain for Kylo to admit that the general was right.

Jenin meanwhile had been replaced by Captain Phasma, who was in charge of the stormtrooper units at _Starkiller Base_. The light refracted on her chrome armor and made the room appear brighter than it was.

“As much as this incident with the mechanic bothers you, you shouldn't allow yourself to be distracted from our actual assignment. Once this is done, you can go back to your ... office and continue to take care of her. The matter at hand is a matter of minutes. What could possibly go wrong?”

As soon as Hux had uttered the last words, three stormtroopers entered the conference room.

"What is it?" Ren snapped harshly at the men who saluted in perfect sync.

The corporal accompanying them stepped forward. “Commander, two of the prisoners escaped, but according to the surveillance systems they are still on the ship. We have already given instructions to look for them. “

Kylo narrowed his eyes under the helmet and walked up to the man with long angry strides, staring down at him.

“Who?” His voice nothing more than a very pissed whisper from under the mask, the sound of the distortion even more threatening.

“Poe Dameron, Sir.”

“And?”

“A woman.”

Immediately Kylo jerked back.

“No!” He exclaimed angrily and threatened to lose control. With restless steps he began to pace up and down before pausing. “Look for them! They must not escape! _Especially_ not the woman!” He ordered harshly and stormed past the soldiers to General Hux. “Gather your troops that are still on board and find them! RIGHT AWAY!”

Then he stormed out of the conference room.

_Gather!_ he ordered his knights reaching out for them via the Force, his thoughts wavering through another invisible sphere that refused to know time and space. Not even seconds later he heard barely audible echoes inside his head, assuring him, his men had heard his call, all while he hurried through corridors and hallways to search for Tavion Asto himself.

She. Must. _Not_. Escape.

Frozen to death, Tavion stared at the two men in officers' uniforms. Now they were a goner. Bridge officers weren't quite as stupid as most of the storm troopers.

She was just about to make an excuse when she heard Poe laugh in relief. Startled Tavion stared at him from the side as if he'd gone mad.

“Finn, Han! I'm glad to see you!” Poe exclaimed and Tavion looked aghast at the men who briefly fell into each other's arms. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, getting you, what do you think, boy?" Said the older one, whose white hair peeked out from under the commanders cap. His face looked a little drawn and a few scars covered his skin. Green-blue eyes touched Tavion. "Who’s this?"

"That's Tavion" Poe replied, pulling her close; instantly her entire body stiffened, which Poe either missed or ignored. It wasn't uncomfortable, just ... unfamiliar. Like so many things right now. She would worry about that later, though. The only thing that mattered at the moment was getting off the _Finalizer_. “She’s rescued me." Poe started to explain, only to be interrupted by Tavion.

“Could we sort that out later? We have to get out of here!” Tavion intervened the joy of reunion and tugged on Poe's jacket sleeve. "Is the hangar you landed in on the bottom or to the side of the Star Destroyer?"

“We went to the main hangar.” The man named Finn interjected, his dark skin a strong contrast to the light walls. Irritated Tavion shot him a glance, but said nothing. She hadn’t expected a rebel seemed to know the buildup of a Star Destroyer by name.

As they continued to approach deeper into the Star Destroyer, she learned the reason behind. Finn had deserted a few months ago after his first assignment as a stormtrooper. _What an illustrious group._

They checkmated another patrol and Tavion grabbed the SC-44 blaster one of that twats were carrying. She had trained with the preceding model and after she had lost all of her tools, she didn’t want to run around completely unarmed. Still, she noticed that it was unusually empty.

Something was going on ...

While she was keeping this particular thought to herself, the door which Finn had just opened slid aside and her stomach turned.

On the other side of the seemingly endless corridor, stood none other than Kylo Ren. And his anger hit them with full force.


	6. Daddy issues

He hadn’t felt the arrival of his father. Had been too diverted by his wrath. But now he felt the waves of their connection crushing into his mind.

Further distractions.

From his mission.

His Path.

Of what he wanted to be.

Of who he wanted to become.

And all those obstacles.

How many he had yet to pass until there was peace for him?

What kind of peace, oh, it did not matter. Peace held many faces. One for everybody, if necessary.

Sometimes his thoughts weakened him. But his weakness had fed his anger. And his anger had made him stronger.

Slowly, he stepped forward. Step after step.

Watched the man before him as he mimicked his movements. How long had it been since he‘d last looked into this face?

Han Solo.

He’d grown old.

But growing older didn’t mean to get weaker. He knew that.

He stopped. Far beyond hearing reach to the others who had come with him.

This was a private matter, no audience needed.

He waited, patiently as it seemed until the old man stood in front of him, not more than two feet away. Kylo straightened up. Proudly raised his chin.

Wanted to tower over him. But their size difference was too small to satisfy him. 

What did it matter as long es he felt smaller inside?

“Ben” Was everything the man in front of him said.

The old man’s voice was full of regret. Or was it despair. Disappointment?

Kylo remembered that name he had called. The only problem occurring here was he had taken it off like he took off his clothes every evening a long time ago.

A name that didn’t mean anything to him. And yet the name triggered a distant echo of a memory. It threatened to break the surface of his consciousness, but he forcibly pushed it back.

“What do you want, old man?” His distorted voice rang through the hallway.

“Take off that ridiculous thing.” The hoarse voice seemed about to break away like fine glass shattering on the ground.

He scoffed in faked amusement. “Not the first time this day someone gives me this order. What do you think you would see underneath? Memories? A glimpse of hope? That fragile little thing everyone clings to?”

Kylo’s gaze slid to Asto for a brief moment, who stood behind two other man on the opposite of the hallway, half hidden by the dark lightning.

_Are you scared?_

Remembering those words, he flinched inwardly. _Damn this fucking woman!_ Though he was no one to swear whenever he saw her, he had the urge to do so.

Kylo’s attention shifted back to Han Solo, whose eyes carried sadness which had a long time given to grow, the whitened brows furrowed as if in pain.

“Did you come to die?” It wasn't just superiority that filled him when he saw Han Solo's horrified look. There was something else, more profound ...

“If that's what helps you to find peace ...”

Kylo's eyes widened at his words, but he didn’t move, relieved nobody was able to see the shocked expression hitting his face.

_Peace._

_Balance._

_Lies._

“Do you even know what you are talking about? Peace?” He had almost laughed if he had remembered how that worked.

“Something I should’ve given you as your father. But I failed, because I was scared and selfish.”

Kylo said nothing. Only stared down into those greyish blue eyes filled with grim sorrow.

“I see it in your eyes. It haunts you. Is killing you of your sleep. It haunted me too. So why should I free you from your burden so easily?”

Kylo’s hand twitched. He felt the weight of the lightsaber at his side. It would be so easy. One less distraction. Kylo hold his breath. Would it be easier then?

Tensed Tavion stood behind Finn and Poe, who had pushed themselves protectively in front of her.

"Does anyone of you know what's going on?" She asked quietly, her voice barely more than a breath. Both men shook their heads, their faces twisted, their eyes glued to the scene in front of them.

Tavion was thinking about what it could be and why the heck Tinhead hadn’t killed Han in an instant when she huffed in surprise.

Something _shifted_. At least this was what it felt like, no other word would’ve described the sensation. Although she didn't know what that something was. The next second she felt strange, like not being herself anymore, like standing right next to herself, watching what she was doing next. Tavion didn't even notice when she slipped through between the bodies of her companions until she did. Moved closer to Han Solo. Her heart was pounding in her throat. What was she doing here anyway?

_No. No, no, you better stop, you foolish being ..._

But her body seemed to have made itself independent. There was some kind of a impalpable delay between her movements and her thoughts of moving. She moved before thinking as if she had lost control over her body. That felt ineffable strange it almost scared her.

She was only six feet from Han when Ren suddenly lit the lightsaber. She didn't know what she was seeing, but she saw it just a fraction of a second before it happened.

"NO!" She yelled, her voice strangely distorted, sounding as if spoken with a dozen overlaid voices, her body moving forward with lightning speed to pull him away from Ren. But it wasn't fast enough; the blade brushed the side of his torso, his body slumping to the side, but she tried to steady him. Somebody fired and she heard the blaster bolt whizzing past her.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Ren pressing one hand to his side, then she and Han were pulled away by strong hands, back to the direction they had come from. Everything went so fast Tavion wasn’t capable of realizing what was going on. Her head was spinning and she felt like she had to vomit.

"In the hangar, now!" Urged Poe supporting Han who was seemingly under shock. As fast as it was possible, they hurried through the corridors always aware of footsteps around them. Of course, they’d stumbled into another patrol and therefore another fight, though a short one, but Tavion had already enough. Definitely not her type of living the day. Her heart never found rest, her pulse hastily and uneven. Well, this day would end with a fucking heart-attack of hers.

Eventually they reached the final corridor that led them to the hangar. The entry hissed open. With their weapons at the ready, however, they found that it was completely empty. Tavion stiffened; her eyes half shut suspiciously. What was going on here? The last time it had been like this, that frigging Tinhead guy had been around. _Ugh._

Halfway Tavion turned towards Finn which wasn’t quite easy with Han putting half of his weight onto her shoulders. She was happy Poe helped her although he was injured himself, putting Han’s other arm around his shoulders. “Where is your ship?”

"Over there, the troop transport.” Finn answered instead and pointed with his outreached hand in said direction. Tavion followed his gesture with her eyes.

_That’s … a First Order shuttle …_

With a weird expression on her features, she darted a gaze at Finn again, but said nothing. She’d rather not know how those guys got the spacecraft. What kind of weirdos had she stumbled upon?

_Well, that’s gross._

An excited beeping was suddenly hearable and Tavion yanked up her weapon, once again tensed and her heart racing. Something white and orange colored rolled down the floor and all she did was to curse. Simply another BB unit headed towards them at high speed. Tavion rolled her eyes. She was still busy getting rid of the other one who pressed his body frightened against her legs, whistling and beeping. Seemed like she not only deleted his memory but also his dignity and morale.

"BB-8!" Poe shouted excitedly, crouching down and rubbing the metal body of the droid as if it was a cat. _Oh my_.

“Maybe we should think about a new paint job for you, eh Bumpy?” Tavion said thoughtfully to BB-9E but the droid behind her squeaked, unconvinced. Afterwards her attention moved to the former Stormtrooper again.

“Anyone else I should know about who I could accidentally shoot a hole in?” She asked sarcastically to Finn when she heard something that sounded like a roar and gurgling at different altitudes.

Something very hairy emerged from the shadow of the shuttle.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” A Wookie. Of course. For a second Tavion let go of Han and grabbed Finn by the shoulders, yanking him around while she waved with the gun in hand in front of his face. “Say, did you rush here with a whole squadron?” Her tone wasn’t very friendly, quite the opposite one would dare to say. When Finn opened his mouth to give her an answer something beeped.

_What’s it with all that stupid beeping everywhere today?_

Tavion quizzically looked down on him with a confused expression. “There’s something beeping.”

“We get company” he explained shortly. “Follow me!"”

She let him pull her along, but looked around in the meantime.

The hangar was full of TIE fighters. They didn't make three miles before they were behind them. The _Finalizer_ couldn't be so understaffed.

“Go ahead I got an idea. I'll follow you immediately!” She called over her shoulder and hurried over to the control console for the hangar doors while the others ran toward the ship.

_Okay, concentrate. Power supply. Power supply, where are you?_ Her fingers flew over the controls as she locked the gates. That would give them a little more time. Something.

She was just about to catch up with the others when her gaze stuck to a toolbox that stood abandoned next to a jacked-up TIE. Without realizing Tavion slowed her pace and looked at the men hurrying toward the shuttle. Then she glanced back and forth between the box and the shuttle before bending down.

_M30, M33, M48… uuh, M80._ Proudly she weighed the wrench in her hand. Was pretty heavy. When Tavion all of a sudden heard whispering voices she jerked upwards, running immediately over to the others without wasting more time, but refused to do so straight forward. Instead, she turned right and curved in direction of their voices.

The shuttle came into sight and as she drew closer Tavion retarded her steps, still at a certain distance and clenched her teeth when she saw Ren, who strode down the ramp of their shuttle towards her new friends in a slow-moving manner, as if he had all the time in the world, his lightsaber drawn and enlightened.

_Not again. How did he get in here so fast?_

Tavion watched him disgusted when he wind-milled the saber once. _Arrogant a-_

“Well, well, look who has returned. A traitor amongst traitors. Irony of fate, I guess.”

_Ugh._

If she had to listen to his awfully modulated voice any longer, she would go over and rip that kriffin’ helmet off his damn head. Maybe the head alike.

“Hand me over Han Solo and you may go.”

At his words she turned up her mouth, her eyes wandering over his towering appearance. She narrowed her eyes slightly. Insane Tinhead was injured. Even if she was at a distant and only saw his profile, where he hopefully couldn’t see her, she had noticed the wet stain on his left side. Finn must’ve hit him there. On the other hand, considering Ren was still up to stand upright the damage to his person couldn’t be that worse.

_Too bad._

Finally, it was Poe who answered, still supporting Han. “How generous, but thanks, no. Not happening.”

“Then your fate is sealed.”

Before Ren had even moved shots filled the air, which he blocked with ease. The Wookie had meanwhile taken over the protection of Han, propping his weak body with his own, while Poe and Finn tried to strike the commander down somehow, but as long as he waved his saber that was a hopeless endeavor. He blocked every single blaster bolt or shot them back into their direction, causing them to evade.

Tavion now had two options. Actually three, but the last one was insomuch out of order she didn't even think it through to the end.

Option one: she could fire at sir roly-poly man in his black costume, or option two: she tried to ambush him. Overthinking her first possibility maybe that wasn’t for the best. Ren would locate her pretty fast as soon as she would shoot at him. Also, he surely wouldn’t have trouble fending attacks from two different directions.

_Option number two then._

As quietly as Tavion could, she took cover between parked TIEs near the shuttle the others stayed in front of. Ren had meanwhile moved down the ramp and away from the shuttle while he forced back the foes in order to create distance between them and the spaceship.

Carefully and without letting go of the commander she moved closer outside Ren’s sight until the ramp of the troop carrier was behind her back. Her fingers tightened around the grip of the wrench in her right hand as she crept up after him.

_Let's check the compatibility of Tinhead and this lovely tool._

When she was at arm's length from him, she straightened up and at the same time lunged for a powerful blow right towards the back of his head. Unfortunately, her attempt of sending Ren to sleep didn’t go much far.

The wrench was already on direct collision course when Ren spun around and grabbed her wrist with unknown brutality. Her eyes widened in disbelief before instincts kicked in.

With a loud roar, she kicked one knee into his crown jewels and a painful but distorted moan was everything Tinhead had to say. The iron grip loosened and she hurried to distance herself.

The blood rushed in Tavion's ears like a raging river that plunged down several levels. Devoid of hesitation Tavion hurried to close up to Poe, Finn and the others when something tore her off her feet. It happened so fast she wasn’t able to think about what happened to her. She landed roughly on her back, the impact tough enough to make it impossible to suck in any air to breath properly and a sharp pain shot up her tailbone. It took her some time to sit up. Every bone within her body hurt and even raising her hand caused a nearly unbearable pain. Cursing winded she intended to wipe a few strands from her forehead when she noticed the something that moistened her fingertips. Irritated she looked at her them, recognizing they were covered with a red liquid.

_Oh … that … blood?_

Couldn’t be her own, right? For a brief moment the world around her made a turn and she felt the color drain from her face. Tavion stared down at herself, startled. She had slipped on blood. Tavion winked. But then she remembered.

Tavion looked at Ren, whose body was shaking barely visible and pressed one hand to his side.

Seemed as it’d hit him harder than she’d first expected. That guy had the brass neck. Others would have winced and taken care of their injury but Ren … Ren still threatened others. If he had not been the dickhead he was, maybe Tavion would’ve been impressed. _Maybe …_

Out of nowhere, she was grabbed by the shoulders and pulled to her feet.

“We have to get out of here.” Poe. Before she could nod, Tavion already stumbled after him, still wobbly on her feet, as she ran into an invisible wall. Once again something carried Tavion off her feet. This time, however, experience was different. Tavion literally _hurtled_ through the air, a few yards away from Poe and the other guys. She landed harshly on her right side, her arm was jammed between the ground and her torso. Tavion cried out in pain. Through a veil she heard the aggressive shouting of Ren echoing angry through the hangar. Nothing more than a disfigured roar that made her ears ring as if he had yelled directly into them. Stunned by pain that swept across her body, she turned around - and couldn't believe her eyes.

Like shadows crawling out their hiding spots Tavion watched the Knights of Ren slowly stepping out of the shuttle’s entrance until they stood right behind their leader, weapons raised or their blades leisurely resting upon broad shoulders as if to assure nobody had the slightest chance against their fighting abilities. Tavion made a breathless huff. They would finish her off. Or at least drag her back to that fucking interrogation room. There was no doubt Ren wasn’t done with her now, for what reasons whatsoever. Tavion wished she would understand what it was he wanted from her. Surely, something with the _Force_ , but _what exactly_?

Tavion was so busy making friends with her imminent end while she’d almost miss the sound of blaster bolts shooting through the air. She would have loved to jump up and come to their aid, but everything, really everything, hurt. She laid on her back like a bug, gasping for air. Her eyes closed.

Suddenly another noise mingled with the whirring and buzzing. It was louder and became louder steadily.

Tavion looked up just in time to see a green blaster bolt hit the hangar floor right where the group of knights had gathered and split them apart, one of them dragging Ren with him to get him out of the ship’s range.

When the kriff was this shitty day about to finally end?

Again, she turned around slowly, trying to ignore her aching body, this time to get rid of the view in front of her. Maybe when she tried to ignore it all, she could convince herself that everything was just a very bad nightmare. What was not the easiest thing minding the noise around her.

_Just leave me here, I’m happy with the pattern pressing into my skin. Greatest thing ever._ Tavion felt her senses slipping out of her control. Was she about to fall unconscious?

The next moment she had the feeling she was floating. Pain still shot through her body, but now it was more as if covered in cotton wool. What was going on here?

She opened her eyes and recognized the wookie’s face above her. He must’ve picked her up. His fur was so nice and warm. She was cold. Exactly how hard did she hit her head in the impact?

Tavion heard him shouting something and the sound vibrated in his chest, which she was pressed against. Oh, how much she would have liked to close her eyes and sleep a little.

The next thing she felt was her body being put down carefully.

Hard.

Cold.

_Ugh!_

“Tavion? Hey, can you hear me?” Her lids fluttered open unwillingly. Poe sat down next to her, some small container in hand. She nodded in response, feeling like she had drunk too much. “That'll be cold for a moment.” Poe warned her softly coming closer a little bit and gently stroking back her certainly shaggy hair. Tavion made a face.

_Thank you very much. I’m already cold._

She couldn't help but flinch when the cold spray hit her forehead. To vent her displeasure, she narrowed her eyes. Still, it felt good. At least the pain in her head was beginning to subside. That made the whole thing better.

Tavion somehow dozed off, though she heard the others muttering without understanding what particularly they spoke about. Lazily she cracked open one eye. Right in front of her she saw the _Starkiller Base_ getting smaller and smaller. Near the former planet she recognized the outlines of the _Finalizer._ They must’ve carried her to the troop carrier. The cot was much cozier than the floor but by far not comfortable as the Wookie’s fur. Tavion made a dissatisfied sound. Just lying there, she watched the base shrinking when suddenly transformed into a ball of fire. Abruptly her body shot up into an upright position, again haunted by pain, but Tavion didn’t notice.

“What the bloody hell?” Tavion heard Poe saying right next to her, who had sat down beneath, also staring out of the narrow window.

“Erm, I’m sorry to bother you, but the monitors are showing weird merits. According to them the base is exploding.” Finn’s voice shouted through the corridor. Tavion turned around halfway.

Han who’d sat down on the other side of the shuttle detached the safety belt and cautiously walked over to them. Poe moved over for him.

“Now that’s something.” He whispered, his brows frowned, and seemed to be uncertain what to think.

The base’s surface collapsed, swallowing everything that was upon it.

Well, probably not all of it.

A dark premonition crept into her mind. She didn't know anything much. Only rough details. Gossip at last. What she was allowed to know in her position. And that was more than she would have liked, considering the company she kept.

Tavion looked morosely at Poe, who blew his cheeks and exhaled audibly. Afterwards he put on a … satisfied smile? Tavion frowned. _Oh no._

“They’ve been successful” She heard him say, continuing to stare at the firestorms that went devouring the base. Completely silent. Swallowed by the silence of space.

Finding her voice again, Tavion asked. “And who are _they_?”

“My squadron and a few others. They launched the attack on the _Finalizer_ so that we could escape. BB-8 sent them our data.”

“So, you think it had been the rebels who’d destroy the base?”

“Of course. That was the task, after we’ve found out about the existence and location. Our general must’ve commanded them to first help us after Chewie and Han have found me … or us that is.” A crooked smile appeared upon his face. “Let's see what the First Order will do now after we destroyed their main base.”

Tavion gave him a look that clearly expressed her doubts about it, but Poe didn't see it, who continued to stare mesmerized at the fireball the base had morphed into.

_Oh, how little they know._ she se

She thought bitterly and her own gaze drifted back to the darkness which surrounded them sprinkled with stars like countless tiny eyes watching them.

“Now, try to sleep. It will take us a few hours to reach the Resistance’s base.” Poe’s voice was soft. She knew he tried to calm her down a little bit. But not for the things he thought her to worry about. How could he know. She kept quiet. After all, her arm had suffered less damage than she had initially feared.

Tavion shifted on the metal cot and lay down, ignoring the waves of pain shooting through her body. She would tell them. She _had to._ But not now. Not until she knew what was going on right now. What had really happened.

Changes. She hated them. But they had burst upon her. Like a firework gone wrong. _Terribly wrong._

She once again closed her eyes. It was less sleep what she fell into. It was more a twirl of thoughts led by fear of what things might yet to come.

Everything changed.


End file.
